thats how love should be

enough is enough.

i should stop thinking with my heart.

familiarity breeds contempt. how true.

sometimes i find myself in the shoes of Eustacia Vye. not her surpassing beauty, but her worries and torments wit Clym Yeobright.

it doesnt help tt at the end, the marriage turns sour, and Eustacia dies.

stop.

no more expectations.

no more disappointments.

nada

i wish i knew the right words to say. the right thing to do.

somehow, im just in a total lost.

familiarity breeds contempt.

ive never agreed more.

i look to you Lord
Your love that never ends
restores me again

plate tectonics

I'm a fool for believing
But I just keep dreaming
While we just keep drifting apart
Trying to make something
Where there's really nothing
I guess it's all in my heart

i know my purpose of going to church. i savour the time that a fair congregation has devoted to praising and worshipping God. the sermon today got me reflecting over my true reasons for going to church. n i found it.

Psalm 95 says

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord!
Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving;
Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.
For the Lord is the great God,
and the great King above all gods

tis true. ive found so much peace and serenity as i prayed in God's sanctuary. my sanctuary. i was pretty consumed with certain thoughts and worries in the previous week, and as i put them into God's hands, i knew everything was going to be alright. communion dinner was special too. the newly-installed pastor Tan gave out communion dinner today, and as he did so, he repeated to each n everyone of us that this represented the body and blood of Jesus Christ who died for us on the cross. and the message, albeit old, rly hit home.

"So i lift my eyes to You Lord
In Your strength will i break through Lord.
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me,
I know Your love dispels all my fears"

today officially marks the last day of hols : ( but i have to admit, having chapel to start the week off rly rubs off some of the monday blues. hopefully the NLs will be ready for inhabitance tmr! : )

i watched initial d wit josh kb n rits ytd. cant say im much of a sucker for cars or racing. lol but joshua emerged wit pretty gd comments for the movie, while rits enjoyed it cuz of edison. there's sorta like a girl-guy divide for the movie. every guy i kno who've watched the show thought it awesome, while the girls thot otherwise (except celine =p)

made joshua walk a lot after the show haha :p in the hot sun. come to think of it, it was pretty funny. we didnt get anything done except buy pen refills. then charles came over n we watched hitch. my 2nd time watching it haha. but it's a gd show.

woa long entry. but who cares. im gonna spend my last day of hols in luxury. who knows when im gonna have the luxury of time when sch starts. B.O.O

and by faith i will hold on Lord

Flammende Herz

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine
I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

I heard here face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in may
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name
I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

live like you were dying

To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.

we often get too caught up wit the pace of life, that we often forget to pause and take time to savour the beauty of little things around us, lil acts of kindness that go pass unnoticed; uncherished.

another day goes by.....

i sneaked a peak at the half-done NLs today. wonder if they'll b ready by sch reopen. i look to sch wit the eager anticipation of a cozy new home : ) carpeted floors, brand new a/c tt wont go 'pop' in the middle of class, and hopefully curtains tt will remove the brand name of AHRed as a zoo exhibition. and as seok said, the people who make the happy hut happy! : )

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uploading pictures proves to be a rather mindless but satisfying activity that i like to partake in. especially when ive got things on my mind and cant bring myself to study just yet.

i was greeted by the first wave of classes ytd, which hit me with 3 hours non-stop geog class. it wasnt as bad as i thot it would be, cuz it was more like an interactive discussion than a lecture. plus i got pulled a prank by seok and shai. so much for rolling out the welcome wagon. =p

well 'nuff said. hopefully tuition today would start my study locomotive : ) getting ready for the next wave of classes coming right up all too soon..


macarthur looking rather.. 'metro' =p

leaving on a jet plane again!

once again im posting this frm the Beijing airport lounge. there's still 2 hours to our flight, and the comfort of this cosy lounge makes time pass by a lil quicker : ) had a buffet of free food and mixed my own cocktail frm the array of drinks present. im not complaining at all. : )

i watched butterfly effect wit my fam ytd night. albeit its my second time watching the show, that show never fails to get me thinking. it's inevitably the process of butterfly effects in our life, juz tt we can never go back to change things that we've done. every choice is another twist to our life story. hmm.

i cant wait to get home. throughout the hour ride to the airport ive been thinking of how to catch up wit my work. i havent done much work due to my lack of materials in Beijing, and that has only expanded my worry factor. im gonna devote the rest of the hols to studying. period.

aight signing off wit the last post frm Beijing. out.

eve of last day

i woke up to a bright sunny 5am morning today. didnt rly sleep well last night, waking up in the middle of the night to arms wrapped around me, and a head laying on my shoulder. once again, my sister next to me on our shared queen size bed was cuddling me in her sleep, thinking i was her furry toy dolphin tt belonged on her bed at home. i finally got some slp when i clambered onto my parents' king size bed after my dad left for a breakfast meeting.

on retrospect, that sounds pretty hilarious. but i sure wasnt laughing when it happened.

hmm. i've found a couple of sanctuaries here in the land which is still rly alien to me. one of my lil sanctuaries was called Boat Quay, a singapore food restaurant here in Beijing. nv have i been so glad to eat what i usually took for granted. surely laksa and bland carrot cake nv suited my taste buds better after a week of German, HK, funky Chinese, American, and Korean food. i was embraced wit a wave of familiarity as i scanned the menu, matching the names on the menu to the foods, listening to fellow Singaporeans frm the next table talking bout the GSS, and so on. a lil fair congregation of Singaporeans seeking familiarity in an alien land. n i reckon we got wat we were there for : )

the second sanctuary i found today, was the spiritual sanctuary. my fam n i went to Beijing International Christian Fellowship, or BICF for short, for sunday worship. it was held in a local auditorium, and was for foreigners ONLY. our passports were literally our passport into the church. the congregation was dominated mainly by the Americans, British and Australians, but there were pple frm more than 60 countries around. it was amazing : ) people frm all over the world unite in an alien country with a common love for God. it certainly was an experience. i was caught off guard, when the praise&worship team sang "I surrender all" in Chinese (it was china afterall). i found it more than vaguely amusing when almost all of the Caucasians, Africans, and non-Asians chorused together the chinese lyrics of the song. of course, thanks to the hanyu pinyin that accompanied the chinese lyrics on the screen, but it was juz rly beautiful. : ) praise God for such blessings.

today's kinda the last day of our trip. tmr will be busy wit packing, and logistics arrangements, b4 our flight home. we closed the chapter of our vacation beautifully with a visit to the Great Wall, which included thrilling chair lifts up and then the mountain. we intended to ride the toboggan down the mountain, but after an unexpected drizzle the slide was closed for safety reasons. : ( i guess theres always a next time.

till then, i cant wait to get home : )

6th day of vacation!

living the life of the Beijing urbanite here has been pretty enriching. we've attended couple of social dinners, immersed ourselves in some of the rich culture, and had quite a large proportion of time on shopping & fun : )

one thing bout china is its cuisine. i've wolfed down raw lobsters, peking duck, awesome beef and spicy fish-head.. that's on the chinese side of the delicacies. other delicacies involve the wide variety of foreign foods, including Japanese food, American beef, German sausages.. i've nv eaten so much in my life. but it feels like heaven :p

here're some shots of today's trip..

at the german restaurant..


some funky tiara : )

oh yeah we did some mountain adventure, and trekked up to the middle-foot of a mountain. the air was so fresh, wit scents of pine and fresh grass, we all felt so refreshed as we exited when dusk fell. : ) on our way up we went into the 'peacock garden', where we found ourselves surrounded by 200 odd peacocks vying for the peacock food we had in our hands.


feeding the peacocks..


at the middle foot of the mountain!

wit all that said, im rly glad to b flying back on monday : )

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currently posting this frm beijing.. had a pretty smooth flight all the way here :) had a couple of screwdrivers here n there, watched 3 movies (the pacifier, coach carter, and incredibles!), and slept some more when we arrived at 1am local time.

my family's also indulged in a dvd spree once we're here, and we've already gotten the entire set of desperate housewives dvds :) awesome. to go wit star wars trilogy, monster-in-laws.. and many others. i guess there's a reason u call this place a shopper's haven :) my mom and i got pretty funky shades too, while my dad got armani glasses made for reading lol.

other than shopping, we've done nothing much other than sleep and eat. lol. the food here's REALLY spicy tho. an entire bowl of red fish was made wit red chilli & red pepper, accompanied by red noses, red lips, and red eyes after we tried it. the restaurant makes gd money outta the drinks ordered here. lol

aight gtg bounce. signing off frm beijing.

leaving on a jet plane

hmm. it's the 2nd week of holidays, and im leaving for vacation wit barely any work done. terrific. altho lugging lit books and johnsloman econs all the way to mongolia isnt exactly the bestest idea, ive decided to pack my luggage wit textbooks and notes to keep my spare time occupied. no time to waste in the incessant struggle to complete revision.

i was relatively elated to have econs tuition scheduled ytd morning, but found myself willing time to move on as i was having classes. then i had a rather interesting lunch eating instant noodles on the steps of yew tee MRT wit joshua. it was a true 'ready-to-go', frm getting the noodles frm the 7-11 store, to cooking it and eating it right there and then. we went back to sch to get stuff (yayy i passed my econs test :) , and met joseph at hv to study.

My bags are all packed, i'm ready to go..
i successfully repacked 3 luggages into one suitcase ytd. lol dan and joshua were giving me pointers on how to pack light. not that it was much help haha but i appreciate it anyways :) will be flying off for mongolia/china later in the day. here's a happy-birthday shoutout to sarah and lide. sry i wont b around on ur birthdays, but i promise i'll get u guys something :D happy blessed 18th birthdays!

i like to move it

cherie woke me up today at 9+am when she arrived at my place. omg that was one of the earlier times i woke up for the past week. we were sposed to paint seok's banner, but we didnt start till 11+am cuz both of us were too lazy to get started in the HOT weather.

ok the whole painting process took us like 4 hours in total. there were SO many probs encountered in the process, that cherie was convinced murphy's law was acting on us.


cherie painting..


the half done banner..

by the time we were done, we were drenched in sweat (we baked in the sun wit the banner), aching, terribly late for the party, and sleepy. but it was all worth it :) i think the banner looked awesome. much better than my OG banner :P


completed!! :)

the party was rly fun :) amazingly there were more guys than girls. but we had alotta fun anyways so it was all gd :) game cube and mario caught center attention of the party, and then the cake and bday boy and girl. :) happy bday shaiwan! all of us cabbed down to PS after dinner. guys went for xbox, while girls went for arcade :) it was f-u-n.

mm some random shots of my dogs that look pretty pretty...


my dog on my bed..


nice shot :)

sugar (gimme some)

ok first things first. happy bday seok!! :) u're finally as old as me. lol. and trust me, being 18 comes wit a lot more priveleges than i've imagined. =P

i realized that an insurmountable number of churches are holding their church camps this june. it's amazing how many pple have church camps this june, as compared to last june, when it was but a mere handful. it's such a pity i'll b missing my church camp :( partly cuz i'll still be at vacation on the start of camp, and because i need the time to catch up on my work. o well. God will provide in more ways than one :)

im currently nursing a budding headache threatening to emerge. prolly due to exhaustion. charles came over in the morning to hang. met up wit kelly after tt, and we engaged in intense badminton :) its been a while since ive done that. but it was simply awesome to juz talk and catch up, like the old times, as if time were merely paused and unpaused again. gUrl bonding :)

cabbed down to PS to meet cherie n kb after kelly left. shopped around, they came over, and left my place at like 11+pm.

alright i need sleep. soon.

regeneration

i cant believe how easy the wine flows when the cork is popped. especially when the pressure's been building tremendously inside, as the cork is screwed tighter and tighter each day. finally, when the pressure's too great, the cork pops, the wine gushes out, and i finally get to taste the sweetness of such delicacy.

studying wit edwin ytd at kap was rather productive. edwin was a great help in econs :) it was all gd till i downed another large ice-lemon-tea, and swore to God that i would never pour so much sugar down my throat ever again. blurrgh. 4 hours of studying was accompanied wit a trip to bkt timah nature reserves with my dogs. it was rather pleasant, furnished wit nice lil picnic spots here and there. the only thing was that it was too dark for us to feel safe, and so our car was parked for a grand total of 15 minutes b4 we left. =p

i missed church today :( had tuition wit hiro n charles @ hiro's place. but i made it for the ending of the sermon at least. i thot the sermon was rly apt. one should emulate God's perfect and unconditional love when loving others. because more often than not, Man loves for selfish reasons, love with expectations attached. and yet, God tells us to love others like we do ourselves. unconditional loving. and i say, amen. :)

the birthday party

hmm. ytd was a good friday. somehow my wish to attain a gold for napfa has conditioned my body to wake up at 8am to workout at the gym. 2.4km of running, weights, and 1km of cycling later, i was tired, but satisfied. :)

met charles later in the afternoon. shopped at west mall and got pretty nice presents for my sister :) plus a pair of earrings for myself. but i rly love the toy bouquet. it looks perfect.


my presents for my sister :)

came back juz in time for the birthday celebration. my relatives came over, bringing along wit them french/vietnamese ham which we absolutely adore. straight frm france :)



our home-made banner..


they dressed up my dog..

my aunt baked her own strawberry cake and made durian ice-cream :) culinary health bites lol. the cake on the right was made by her.

the birthday cakes


kids central!

brand new day today which consists of studying at kap again. starting up study locomotive..

wouldnt it be nice

omg i think nudges on msn are horribly irritating. they make me rly dizzy. it should b banned frm msn. or the users should be banned frm msn..:p patience is a virtue.

hmm today was rather uneventful. met up wit lide at kap early in the morn (to me) to study. woohoo i finished all my math tutorials :) watched white noise wit my sister, and got named after sam's nose hair. hmmm.

ok i have nothing else to say, so this entry ends here. oh, and sam u're rly funny. ha ha.

who am i

school holidays bring about new clutchs on time. free frm datelines, school commitments, early mornings. as a result i've been able to kickstart each day wit half an hour of QT with God, and i feel ever so refreshed in His words and replenished in His love each day. He gives me a sense of security as i place each day into His hands, and it's so wonderful to just be able to communicate with our Holy Father and pray about everything. :)

got news that javan's graduated frm BMT! :) cool beans. my lil cousin's all grown into a man. ok not really, but it's rather intimidating how quickly time passes. army has always been the "big boy's jobs", where u look up to these guys as the protector of ur country. big boys like ian wayne and clement. and yet suddenly so many pple around me are involved in the army, or are going to way too soon. and it scares me not to have realized how much we've grown and how much time has passed. time for perception changes.

hmm. i think ive been spending too much time at kap too. met charles there for lunch ytd before he came over to study. and today wit kb after we watched madagascar and crashed at shai's place cuz there was absolutely NOTHING to do in town. oh madagascar's quite ok. nothing too hilarious, but the baby animals were rly cute haha. oh surprisingly i met ernest at kap too. playing dota. -.- that part's not surprising. dota is evil. seriously.