the finish line

"You dont love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not" — Jodi Picoult (My Sister's Keeper)

i havent cried my eyes out at a movie for a long, long time. i dont think i really cry that much at movies in general; romance movies, yea maybe a tear or two. but what happened today was uncontrollable, unstoppable bawl-sobbing during 'my sister's keeper'.

the movie plot centered around a younger sister's fight for 'medical emancipation' while her older sister battled cancer. sure, there were a few scenes which i thought were deliberate emotional manipulation with the sad music and lyrics paired with a sick girl's weak smile - pure concoction for tears.

but i thought the bulk of the story laid in the character's maturity and strength in facing her brutal way of life, or what was left of her life.

it's officially about only 5 weeks till the end of this semester; 5 weeks to the grand finale of my 3Ms - macro, metrics and money & banking culminating to a dangerous and possibly disastastrous symphony of panic and chaos at the start of study week. -cue dramatic music-
i've worked harder than any of my past semesters combined, so now i can proudly announce with a resonant conviction in my voice, that.. i don't know what i'm doing studying economics.
no point complaining about the ill marriage of poor math skills and an intensively quantitative curriculum that leads to infinitely 'recursive' mathematical solvings. i should have realized this 3 years ago when i said 'i do' to the department.

ah well, suck it.

job applications have opened (or rather, are closing, at least for the public sector), and i've been trying to pull power words together to form a decent 'impactful' cover letter. which i did, for a grand total of ONE organization that i'm applying to. i took almost 3 hours applying for a job ytd; half of which was spent on my resume and cover letter. and they say a graduate applies for about 20 jobs on average. GREAT.

ah well, suck it.

on a brighter ending note, i re-discovered the joy of webcam pictures ytd. forgot my netbook had one of those built-in cameras, very useful for the stress-relieving (mandatory) cam session that puts spontaneity to the test.



another nice (but poor quality) picture to add to the collection (:

i don't like camps anymore.

at age 22, albeit not-that-big a number yet, i find myself loathing something that i use to find really enjoyable and exciting to be a part of.
maybe it's that, or maybe its the fact that i have a massive pile of workload waiting for me by my desk - deadlines that i'm racing against.
it's probably a combi of both that led me to leave my induction camp today 3 hours into the camp, barely after ice-breakers (which, werent even fun at all)

i guess i'm just past the phase where taking bus/mrt around singapore in a madrace to take silly photographs of yourselves doing utterly stupid things to strangers is deemed remotely funny and thrilling.
or to find any meaning in jumping around singing happy-birthday-songs to weird-personalities-of-organizers for 'extra points'

garh, pardon the complaining, i felt like i just dragged myself outta bed on a saturday morning for the most redunculous reason, only to return home tired, hot, hungry accomplishing nothing.

-

on a brighter note, it is perhaps this angsty exhaustion of mine, that led me to enjoy the simplest things and to derive relaxation from the simplest enjoyment.

mac and i spent a good part of fri evening lazing around in indochine @ Holland village. albeit missing a live band of any sort, we were ear-wormed with mambo & retro music; very entertaining.

nothing like a cosmo and fried scallops to end off a hectic week.

living in a terrace house has had many adjustments that were required of us, both the good ones and the bad ones. i've mostly enjoyed a much bigger space, minus the stairs, and also a beautiful deck & garden that has served in relieving my stress from work countless times thus far.

on the bads, the thing that i really need more time to get used to is the sudden increase in visitors from the bug-eyed nation. never was a fan of anything more than 4 legs, and prolly never will be. the influx of 6-legged creatures is expected, with so many more windows and doors that for some reason appear to be safe havens from the rainy and wet outside, much to my demise. just today, my maid caught a dragonfly aimlessly soaring in my room, which caused a chaotic hoohaa in both humans and dogs around me when she proudly showed off the red/green thing - humans were screaming at it to get away, dogs were screaming at it to come.

anw, just because i havent done this in a long time, i'll put up some random pictures: of LASERQUEST in church (:
lasertag is possibly the most fun thing after catching - despite the heavy guns and moody sensors, running around in church like mad people firing away like there's no tomorrow is really quite exciting, especially after hearing about how fun it can be in how-i-met-your-mother.



each game was about 15min (though it prolly lasted much longer than that cuz we completed the missions fast), and it is way more tiring than any game of catch i've played. although the guns in itself were only about 3-5kg depending on the size, having to run and fire and dodge for a full game can be quite exhausting, esp for the not-so-fit like myself =p



dinner that day was at Aston's, another place i've heard loads about but never gotten to try. food was decent at an affordable price, and the atmosphere was of a rustic feel, complete with cheesy love ballads (:

now, back to reality and the pile of work awaiting.

i've always scoffed at the idea of playing DDR, guffawed at racist stereotype jokes about how DDR is asian, wondered at how people were willing to spend hours on DDR machines perfecting a song



until.. i got myself a DDR game set on WII today and spent 3 straight hours with mac and my sister hopping around on plastic ground sheets, perspiring beads of sweat while occasionally cursing at the number of arrows that were coming up on screen.

not usually smth i'd do on a friday night; but it definitely took some weight off me. literally.

so.. summer holidays whizzed by me like a speeding, breakless train
today's officially the start of school, but due to insufficient allocation of modules, i'm having today and tomorrow free to ponder on how to secure my last two modules
complaints and whinings aside, my last week of vacation was actually made up for all that i've missed, all the stress that i've been through. i've seen accomplishments of some of the work i've done, effort that i've put in; i've made friends who're there to stay, and also had hell alotta fun in the meantime.
the light at the end of the tunnel surely is sweet.

i've taken on many projects, assignments and tasks this summer break, but there's one that really made an impact; memorable and unforgettable - and that is ACACHAMPS


taking part in acapella championships this year was probably one of the best and worst decisions i've made all year round.
worst not because we didn't win; or that it was a bad experience, but because it was utterly bad timing to be participating in something that required extensive commitment and time, smth that i couldnt afford or had the luxury of at that point in time.
given the time, we could have given so much more, and tried so much harder.

but, at the same time, it was the best decision i've made because through this experience i've learnt so much; about group dynamics, singing techniques, dealing with people, leadership, and most importantly, about myself.
through this journey, i've also gotten to know 5 other girls very well, and had the pleasure of working with them in something that culminated to so much joy, laughter, and fun, albeit amidst hard work, tears, and inevitable disputes.


we walked the path together, and came out of it, smiling.
at the end of it all, it wasn't about winning or losing, but reforming the bonds of sisterhood as we prayed together in a circle right before our performance
i had the most fun performing on that night, (yes probably because i knew there wasnt much chance of winning so no pressure right), but also because i know we went out there as one.

between shuttling my sister to school, staying up late in attempts to finish NM2208 assignments that have been delayed cuz of the house move, as well as attending acachamps practice with literally only half of the singers, i think i've effin had it.

i realized it was definitely not easy juggling two special semester modules at one go.
its also definitely not easy to COMPLETE photoshop assignments that are dished out on monday and due on thursday, considering i have virtually no photoshop or design skills
and then there's another assignment on thursday, due on monday. GREAT.
acachamps pracs are a fucking joke. what with latecomers who come 2-3 hours late as a normality, and with members who FORGET practices.
home is also a mess, with renovations ongoing, arguments spewing, waking up at 630am to navigate peak hour traffic to Anderson.

i'm so so tired.

and i havent yet studied for my econs finals, which is in 2 weeks time.
no screw it, i havent studied for my econs at all.
acachamps is in 2 weeks, and our group has a grand total of 4 days to practice together as a full group because people just cant be fucking bothered to make time.
so many things not done, so little time.

why the fuck we're still joining the competition, really eludes me.
what i know for sure, is once i'm done with the competition, im gettin the hell outta there

so it's near the end of 2nd day of my internship @ tembusu, and strangely enough i dont feel the usual eagerness to pack up and get out of office as soon as the clock strikes 6
maybe its the OT-culture that has implanted slight guilt in me as i waved goodbye to colleagues still buried deep in work
maybe it's the fact that there's reso pracs almost everyday after work, diminishing the excitement i usually feel at the end of work

its a little too early to say, but i'd like to think that im not that anxious to bail because i like it here
not so much for the office politics and workload but my colleagues, who've made time pass alot faster each day
also, although this is a short internship, i feel like im actually learning, instead of hunched over the computer typing ctrl-v repeatedly, trying to master data-entry efficiency

work, however, has a high opportunity cost, extinguishing zirca plans this wed entirely
in its redemption, i finally went to butterfactory last week, and it was just as good as i was told
we had free flow drinks till 1am that were alot better than any housepours i've had
the really mainstream music helped alot too

i also managed to watch terminator salvation over the weekend! (:
it was, in all honesty, a little stupid, aside from its special effects and action moves
i've never watched the previous terminators either so i didnt manage to catch the inferences made to the last few movies, while the boys nodded or pointed it out
but i did find really amusing the recurring biblical allusions made in the movie, like how john connor shares the same initials as jesus christ, being the legendary savior and all, or *spoiler alert* how he seemingly 'resurrects' after being stabbed in the heart because a halfman-halfrobot gave up his heart for john connor.

-

in the days preceding work, we had another wii midnight party at mac's place with victor and melvin, another time where boys show off their prowess at games, while i struggled to survive the game
so while the guys were hooting and throwing fists into the air to celebrate wins (which they took turns to attain), i divided their scores by about 4 and realized that it was my score
i was really consistent in my performance at that, the only time i'm ever consistent
the late night timing did not make it any better. OHWELL.

verbal diarrhea, end.

so.. although the swine flu has altered my summer plans, i find myself dwelling in the unplanned and thoroughly enjoying the unpredictable
i've always thought the come-what-may mentality was an excuse to escape the need for plans and direction, but living each day for what it had to offer and just enjoying that doesnt seem so bad, really.
its funny; many a times i have this beautiful & flawless plan that i come up with as my direction, but it almost always gets crushed by some unforeseen circumstance
and then God comes into the picture, and showers me with this planless direction, that always somehow fits nicely in place and completes the puzzle
and so, now my summer seems to smile even more brightly than i ever thought it will, with my internship secured (and a rly valuable one at that), acapella championships, summer school, and piano duets.

on the same line of unpredictability, lide and i drove aimlessly ytd night after having dinner & drinks @ liquid kitchen, for a night nice drive


we somehow ended up in tampines IKEA, the unintended intention
i got quite a few ideas for my new room @ greenridge, and also quite a few photos from aimless mindless jumpshots that got us more than a few raised eyebrows from passerbys




to complete the story of unplannedness, isaac's ability to buy meat @ a highly discounted price evolved into an impromptu bbq session @ my place on sunday


there we wolfed down $100 worth of beef, chicken, potato, corn & others, deliciously marinated and barbequed by our chef-to-be


it was the first time in my life, i actually enjoyed a barbequed dinner (:


am back from an urban hiatus, took a trip back to tioman after a decade
the place's still as beautiful and serene, people still as friendly, food still as good


blue seas and skies; the water's a little murkier than i remembered, but it's still blue and filled with marine life; we took loads of photos with the underwater cam, which i still need to develop


ramly burger! i heard sooo much about this magical burger i tried it the first day we were there. and it was DEFINITELY worth the hype, ignoring all the oil and unhealthy ingredients that went into its making. i've never been so excited about eating burgers in my life before this ramlicious burger


drinks @ bakau cafe, which is actually a beach bar in the far (dark) end of the beach, with beating rock music. the locals there were just so friendly, we talked with them feeling like we've known them for a while; and they waved us on whenever they saw us on the lil island - it was a nice feeling (:


maggie goreng lunch by the beach; paya beach is famous for its maggie goreng, and its a sure-hit meal. they really make maggie taste yums


trekking up to the rockfall, past kampong houses and primitive living; its spring/rain water was so cold it was quite a shocking contrast against the weather, which was anything but cold.

so... its the summer HOLIDAYS!!! (:
although there wasnt as glorious a finish line as i would have hoped so, the break is definitely a welcome change to the incessant note-taking and studying
the first few days of post-exam happiness was relished in dreamland; i was prolly more tired than i thought myself to be, esp towards the end
thankfully i still made it for kayaking @ bedok reservoir on saturday with the church pple, cuz that was a refreshing blast of morning air and...reservoir water

sleep-crediting aside, i also met up with the NYgirls, for a blast from the past
we took a virgin (for some) game of wii+pizza @ my place; the first time is always priceless
we took a video, that really looks more retarded than it really is, and i'm still trying to upload it to the other 4 who werent able to join us


other news, i watched 17again, and its just such a feel-good movie i really felt so lighthearted and happy when i exited the theater
happy-endings are always beautiful, however cliche and old, and it makes you feel so warm and fuzzy inside out
nevermind zac efron's eyes, which even seemed to make leslie mann melt
i think even lide was bought over =p
before that i also managed to meet up with jacob for dimsum hightea buffet @ anchorpoint
he picked me up from my house, and we went for a little roadtrip after hightea (:

last note, i was parked next to a car that belonged to another JOY while shopping with my sista


and.. a lazy saturday afternoon @ mac's. i like (:

this is an official declaration, that i have traipsed into love with..

BOBO CHACHA

my new found love

yes, i know it's been around for quite some time, i've missed out the past 22 years of my life
i've just never really liked sweet potato or yam particularly, nevermind them in oddly-discolored coconut milk
there was even a time, i sulked half a day because i was more than coaxed to finish some homemade bobo chacha

oh the times have changed.
i still dont quite fancy the sweet potato, never was a huge fan
the yam, it's alright, not that bad when its taste is masked by the strong coconut scent
what i really do love.. are the GELATIN cubes

i like it so much my maid's been putting one and a half packet of gelatin cubes into our homemade bobo chacha, instead of the prescribed half packet, just so there'll be some left at the end when i'm done with it, together with the pathetic pieces of sweet potato left behind

yummy, much.

-

i had my GEM2900 paper today, the first since WHO's declaration of swine flu as a pandemic threat
because of that, we were supposed to report to the exam venue an HOUR earlier to measure our temperatures before we step foot in the exam hall
talk about media-induced paranoia -.-

on the advice of friends, i left house an hour earlier today, so i could navigate clementi peak-hour traffic and reach sch half an hour after the stipulated temperature measurement, thinking i've got the better end of the deal
when i got there, i realized my expectation of long lines of irritable, germ-ridden students waiting to get an aural thermometer stuffed up their ear had been uncalled for
there were NO lines at all, other than masked & gloved staff directing us towards this metal-detector-looking frame, where all we had to do was stare at our own eyes in this mirror before our body temperatures were instantly registered on the LED screen
(woaaaa, high tech)

and then that was it.
i almost felt cheated when they ushered me along to the hall

so, i was half an hour early for my exam today, the first time in my life
what i did find at the exam hall were irritable, (germ-ridden?) students who have also been fooled by rumored long lines for temperature taking

in all redemption, the paper went fanta-frickin-tastic (:


so today i had a change in study environment, albeit for a rly short while
i went to keppel club to pick up mac, who's been teaching swim classes to little kids there
i ended up studying by the seaside/poolside for a little while, thanks to an overestimation of peak-hour traffic, and rly beautiful weather





as cliche as this is gna sound, beautiful scenery does help in absorption rates
it was quiet, aside from the sounds of kids giggling in the nearby pool
and the occasional soft horns of passing cruise ships
really nice.

best thing is, this isnt even my club.

i got my first taste of 'hostel life' in NUS today, as janice put it
it does sound really weird, having been in NUS for close to 3 years and never tried the infamous 'hall food' other than night suppers at sheares, or camp-packet-food
so to make up for it, i've spent quite some time in KEVII recently, camping out in this tiny cozy study lounge at janice's blog, burrowing deep in public finance notes
and.. *drumrolls* i had hall food.

yay?

ok it wasnt that bad. it was pretty decent, contrary to most of the complaints i've heard in this lifetime.
today's special was spaghetti (ooh i'm beginning to sound like a hallsian. NOT), but basically everyone had the choice between that and chinese-vegetables-rice
it wasnt bad at all, the food, it even came with soup, a drink, and a banana
we even sat in the harry-potter dining hall with janice's friends, completing my NUS hall experience =p

-

so, study week's coming to an end. and i'm beginning to feel that slight anxiety creeping up on me
i dont feel un-ready, i just dont feel ready.
at least not 'ready' enough to put everyone outta their A-listings and come up top
garh. its annoying having all this pressure to do well enough to knock myself up one level for upper honors.
garh


right outside my room window, was a gift of colors and life
there's something magical about rainbows that makes everybody really excited and happy
besides the secular symbolism of gay pride, the rainbow represents God's promise of faith and His presence through it all
its a reminder that there will be sunshine after the storm, if we just believe
how timely.

-

i've been spending quite a bit on concerts/productions/workshops lately
the most recent one is Junyan's EH hall production @ UCC.
cecilia, enmei and i paid $18 to see Junyan waltz and hiphop, as well as perform some high school musical dance at the end of the production.

it was pretty worth it; alotta effort was put into the production, and the play production was peppered with timely themed dances at each segment, making it alot more intersting as well.

in other news, our cell group + a few more people had lunch after church to celebrate Iris' and Zhenjie's birthday today (:


beef noodles at liang seah street was a treat; its apparently a taiwanese specialty
and most of us had set meals that came with bubble tea (or boba loca, as referred to in the US), i think my first since i came back to singapore (:

lastly, mac's coming back from Brunei tmr (:

YAY.

i like thursdays, although i have my earliest class in this semester, having to navigate peak hour traffic and reach school by 9am.
but after a 1h philo tutorial, the rest of the day is free for me

so today, i finished class and made it to mac's for macs-breakfast - geddit, geddit?
and then proceeded to spend the whole day doing absolutely nothing but lazing around
being satisfied with guitar hero, online shows, jamming and chilli crab dinner
and some attempts to run at the park and do pilates workouts
and also some research work and internship applications
and messin around with a polo ball



BLISS (:


in a bid to maximize the usage of our SUV before it gets traded in for a Beemer, i decided to take the dogs to botanical gardens
it might be a few months before the careful treading around the new leather of the BMW will relent to the responsibility of being a dog owner
so it might be a few months before the dogs are allowed in the new car :(



the after-rain botanical-garden scene was really beautiful and peaceful


or at least until ginger came along and tore up every last bit of serenity, freaking out the swans by attempting to hunt them down, and running everywhere frantically like she had enemies hot on her heels




in other news, i made jello-shots! (: vodka, ribena, and blackberry jello


i wanted to do lime+tequila, but i couldnt find any tequila! it is pretty amazing, considering tequila is found everywhere in the USA, even in pharmacies.
anyway, mac&i met up with ernest, lide & zhenjie for drinks @ lide's old condo
it marked the end of my 4 midterms all packed into one week, a really tumultumous week considering the difficulty of the papers

it was a good talk with the boys; we havent caught up this way in a long time
ernest brought his guitar, so there were some emo-song-singing,
and some malibu-MANGO cocktail in a shotglass (we didnt bring cups, smart),
and some melted jelloshots despite my trying to cool the jello in an airconditioned car :(


revival

i had this thought to revive my blog ytd after the bell rang for my last midterm
it was a weird, oddly-timed thought that probably came with the gush of time that came as i put down my pen and wrote down my name
there was alot of pent-up frustration over the last 2 papers i had ytd (public finance & environmental econs)
for the amt of work i put in, i expected it to be a breeze
but not only was i stuck for a few questions, i actually left blank one entire 10-mark question in public finance, just because i couldnt do it
the only redeeming grace, however uncalled for, is that everyone else wore the same black face when they came out, and complained about the same questions

HEE.

on thursday, my heart broke for JASON MRAZ, who serenaded me 700m away with his guitar and musical-legend-voice
there are many bands/singers who sound better live than on record, but for Jason Mraz, he was just PERFECT live
i was sold the minute he started his first song - dynamo of volition




amongst the 1000-2000 hearts which melted that night, someone else's heart melted too, by pure musical genius

thankfully for that, he didnt mind me gushing about how i was in-love in the middle of "beautiful mess" as i became a beautiful mess

-

to end off, a really beautiful scene that i saw on my way to mac's place the other day
the clouds were ominously looming over the trees, and the gusty winds were blowing at the pink flowers, causing a flower-shower as i drove down that stretch of road
really serene (:

-insert entry-

its coming into week 5 of school, and i'm starting to feel the heat
school itself isnt as tough as previous semesters, but working towards a cap5.0 this semester so as to graduate with second upper honors is definitely not easy at all.
the thought of summer school... ugh, lets not go there. but thats a must, for sure.
it definitely is a strange feeling considering most of my econ major peers are stepping out into the workforce at the end of this term; but ohwell it is an investment that hopefully i'll appreciate in the near future.

-

past weekend of CNY visitation, golf class, and dinner @ jurong hill was definitely worth remembering.
on sunday we went to zhenjie's for visitation, and...(as all recent house parties would go) play Wii.

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here's everybody with some crashers

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and here's my cell group

on saturday, mac and i gave our go at golf. wasnt my first, but i still sucked at it as if it were my first.
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75, 100, 50 respectively. SIGH

then mac and i joined my parents and abel's & ernest's parents for a midnight karaoke session at orchid country club. OLDIES UNITE.
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and on friday, dinner @ jurong bird park. i've never been into the park, but the restaurant on jurong hill was awesome
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TEPPANYAKI. yums

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the end.