i wonder why..

garrrghhh why is it that i cant visualize 3D trigo?!

even after the full employment of my rulers, pencils, calculators, hands, toes, everything in a futile attempt to illustrate a 3D version of whats printed in the math paper... i still cant see angle BOP.

GRR. this is so frustrating. i can visualize everything. EXCEPT 3D trigo.

weekends arent very productive. my brain's self-declared break. shut-down point.

all i've learnt today.. is that tweety bird is actually a guy.

politics of life

"a blaze of love.. and extinction"

maybe there juz isnt such things as the "lantern glimmer of the same". not yet at least. soon, soon. it will come in due time.

two delightful surprises streamed in merrily today. one came in the form of the approval for my relief teaching in primary schs (: at least im halfway through landing myself in a job after As.

the second delightful surprise laid in my marked war lit essay today. my first A+ in JC lit class. a little late, but better late than never (:

sad to say, that doesnt apply to the rest of my subjects.

soon, soon. it will come in due time..







time heals all wounds...

im praying for you brother..

balancing on a tightrope

i ordered mac delivery for mac today at my place. hehe. and he had a macchicken. hehe..

ooh ooh its raining now.. cozy snuggling up in bed, wit a warm cup of milk.. and return of the native.


i must be strong, and carry on

my lovers

in times like these.. u start to wonder if 4 heavy arts subjects is possible. after i described my situation to edwin, he commented something along the lines of 'joy you're kinda screwed'. and i cant help but agree.

what with meeting college application datelines and applying for SATs and juggling geog lectures and the last week of lit consultations and lit mocks (which still dont turn out very well). what i truly need.. is time.

"when God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it". all i have now left.. is faith. and of course, my dear lovers below.. (:

was testing out my new cam.. and what better pics to take than my dears who have painted the smile on my face each day..


ginger!


absolutely the cutest disney totems on earth (:


ok not exactly my love.. but at least when im there, i know im studying (:


ok at least that was a no-brainer. there goes my 5 min break..


i guess it just isnt meant to be..

breaking

is it a mere indulgence in sentimentality that occur when i feel like im falling into pieces? knowing it'll be nice to have something to hold on to, something to hope for? or is this just another day that's gone by, grasping an intrigue thats rather ideal than real?

the "i-dont-know"s come too easy nowadays..

no im not depressed. freeze-and-melt was fun today (: in fact, theres something fun everyday - the friends and hubbing (: juz cant seem to find certain answers for certain questions sometimes.

only God knows i guess.

grace like rain

my favorite view in sch (: esp at night.

Once there was the sun
bright and warm and wonderful
shining like the love
within my heart

theres a tingling of excitement within me (: cant explain it. exam periods have its high too in a way. plus.. we're going for chapel tmr! yay (:


theres grace like rain that falls down on me..

captain's ball = life

thnx you all for giving me life! (: feels rly cozy playing wit so many diff pple each time after slogging off in the hub, and then recognizing the familiar grumble in our stomachs before rushing to join the dinner queue, keeping our fingers crossed that there'll still be food left for us hungry but happy people. and the best part is, girls still won guys hehehe (: at certain times.

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

now i have a dozen wonderwalls to bring me thru As! (: i lub choo all!

our quest for takopachi to satiate our mysterious craving after tuition today led josh n i in a trip around cck, concluding that two people with poor sense of direction will definitely spells geographical disaster. haha. at least we got to eat our takopachi in the end. and talk (: joy is a satisfied girl.

oh i found a rly convenient spot at the playground today, to juz lie down and watch the stars (: oooh. so it was juz perfect, me my dogs & my stars, until i realized i was talking to myself. or my dogs. or the air. uh-oh. not gd. getting a lil wonky frm all that studying. or the lack of!

):



maybe. just maybe..

counting the days

I know the sunshine has a meaning,
And nothing left can get in my way

i guess theres always a reason to smile despite everything. esp after girls thrashed guys at captain's ball ytd! (: heheh. funny how we get closer to so many other more people wit the late-night studyings in sch. (:

a bad math mock paper was made up faithfully by the magics of world-class fudge-covered brownies, topped off with irrevocably the best icecream from daily scoop! after one plate was immediately wolfed down btwn mac and i, there came the ultimate temptation to savor the chocolate again. in which, we succumbed to. ahh heavenly...

im hooked on chocolates!! gimme gimme more (:

"those who joyfully leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything". thnx for reminding me just what i needed to be reminded of. worry ends where faith begins! (:




get on up, when you're down BABY
take a good look around

im sorry i cant be perfect

to lose is to find. a few days ago, i experienced just that. the process of losing a material possession, but yet finding myself in the midst of it all. today demonstrated the 2nd segment of that phrase. to find is to lose. in God's most abundant grace i found that lost possession, but at the same time, i lost a part of the love, compassion & warmth that i wld expect in a place and person. all in a day's work.

im sorry, i just cant be perfect. i tried..

i cant please everyone. theres only so much i can do.

"the day when i cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul" - Psalms 138:3

i wanna sit by the bleachers again tonight. in the cool night air. with my friends, with the stars, with ourselves. i wanna immerse myself in that moment of tranquility once more. to feel like everything's gonna be alright. to make believe just one more time, that my lucky star will fall down from the sky again; to make believe that, my guardian angel's watching over me.



please my wings.. fly me away..

the happy and the sparkling

the girls. the people. the friends. the class.




through storms and fair weather. in merriment and in cheerlessness. through it all. the people who overcame, and came together as one at the end of it all.

the pictures tell a story. so till then, no more words.

the best is yet to be

as we go on, we remember
all the times we had together

a rly meaningful baccaleureate chapel service today to end off a very treasured and prominent two years of my life. twas a time of retrospection, reflection, and expression of affection by many. what the teachers did for us were truly moving, and their thoughtfulness touched alotta us to tears. the bacc & arts fac videos, the lil bracelets of light from ms yim, all the well-wishes.. the many tear-jerking moments which made today even more memorable & difficult to part with. i'll rly miss our little happy hut, even tho it still reeks of paint at times. a place which has been almost like a 2nd home, the NL12 where JC began, and also NL1 in which JC ends. ): i wish today would go on forever...



keep shining, keep smiling..

we too saw a whole new side to AHRed today. the wild and fun side of people (: a 4 hour kbox session turned into a 'clubbing' session, wit all of us getting drunk on pure adrenaline and iced lemon tea, going high wit our crazy dancing and jumping on the sofas, singing (and screaming) lyrics at the top of our lungs. it was prolly the most fun & high time ive had for a long while (: I LOVE YOU AHRED! *muack*

bringing myself back to the harsh reality, is the fact that As is promptly arriving in 26 days. time to get serious with studying. lets be little jackaloompas, bounding together to the last leg of this race! (:


to lose.. truly, is to find

fallen off the face of the earth..

i cld nv rly understand what that meant last time when people used that phrase. but now i finally get how that technically impossible task cld apply itself in so many other non-physical ways, that it truly merits such a saying. such as, the mutability of human nature. how a blink of the eye can change things beyond comprehension, or how fast a cup brimming with friendship & love could be emptied in juz a few seconds. i guess it only serves to emphasize how inferior our love is compared to God's perfect unconditional love. i take comfort knowing that God's love will always be abundant, and knowing that i will never turn away from His love.

Daddy's driving this ride..

we played "mini-squash" today (: a little modification that seok n i made to the game after our feeble futile & failed attempts at making our balls fly faster & create the "woosh" sound. the guys had their laugh at our expense, but it was way more effective & fun after the mod! (: hehehe. gotta do more pushups...

i love cartoons (: hehehe. cartoons for chapel are a great idea. too bad its our last chapel. -sob- im gonna miss it alot.. ):


Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush, hold it too loose, it'll fly...

dont lose faith in me

Lord i give You my heart
i give You my soul..

fighting on. pressing forward. feeling rather burnt out. just a little tired, a little drained. just a little."whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.. think about such things". thinking happy thots and reminiscing happy memories makes me feel better (:

studying "the return of the native" is abdominably painful. bring on the shakespearean plays, bring on the math formulas, bring on population policies.. just not Thomas Hardy. his themes & characters always seem to hit home. hit emotional base. its rly a love-hate relationship. i read in awe, but painful awe.

ouch.

go to the ant, you sluggard...

out and over.

more than words

the filming of arts fac video today (which we got abruptly dragged into) got me thinking of my life in arts fac; or more generally, my past 2 years in AC. and i was left with little words to say as i sat in front of the cam, because the whole experience has been, as cliche as it sounds, only more than words cld describe. you cant help feeling a wave of sadness wash over you, knowing that soon its gonna be goodbye. lets cherish the last 4 days of life in the arts fac, b4 it fades to become a treasured memory (:

and i will be still, and know You are God...

shades of gray

feels gd to be home early once in a while (: havent done that in a long while.

it even gave me time to cut my hair cuz i was rather grossed out by the fact that there were still parts of cherie's cake stuck in my hair even after i tried to wash it in sch. cake-smashing was fun, but the after-cleanup wasnt all that exciting. esp when it was all over our uniforms, hair, and face. but anyways~ happy birthday cherie!! haha baby chong's graduated frm kindergarten to pri sch hehehe (:

colorgenic's quiz. seok recommended. and i can see why. the horrifyingly to-the-point accurate assessment of mood kinda freaked me out. i cant tell if the results are gd or bad, but i totally agree with the need for games! too bad we cldnt play squash today ): boohoo

heres what colorgenics had to say..
"You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what? This is a part of your character and charm.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbors and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favorite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

The way things are, you feel that you are stuck in a rut and there is not much you can do about it. You feel frustrated and inhibited but if you can find a way to let yourself go, you may find that things aren't quite so bad as perhaps you thought they were. One consolation is that since you are an extremely emotional individual, with the right person you may be able to release some of that frustration and tension with some mutual tender loving care.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you"

tong hua

where princes & princesses live happily ever after. too bad thats a mere facade of the real world ):

doodling as a form of cleansing. i nv rly thought of that. a medium in which all emotions spill out in the forms of creative language. a few of us were "cleansed", with much gratitude due to the very clean blacks tables in LT4. how fun. i love doodling. maybe one day it'll b considered a form of art (:

They say that love can heal the broken
they say that hope can make you see

watched the guys kick each other's ass at the squash courts today. funfunfun! too bad i cldnt play in a skirt. hope we get to play tmr too! (: something to look forward to finally! yayay (: tmr will be a better day. with faith like a child!



this is my fairytale ending..

smile

"sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy"

keep smiling, keep shining. with tenacity, ruggedness of the soul & spirit, and power frm the Almighty Father, Joy will be strong and tough. drained, frm 4 whole hours dedicated to intellectual lit consultation, right after 2 hours of geog lectures straight out of sch. drained, yes, but ive also felt insurmountable gratitude and indebtedness for the arts teachers that ive nv felt in the entire time in AC. them who hung in there with us till near 9pm. thank you so much.

"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection"

tho sometimes.. i juz wish.. i were one of those lucky science students who get the time to study and cram, or to be able to just take time off for a fun game of squash. with our schedules fully packed till a week after baccaleurate, it's a dubious and problematic assumption that we'll have any time at all for ourselves.

a rather cute quote i just heard off the radio about smiling. "smile - its the second best thing you can do with your lips". so heres a big wide smile (: keep smiling, keep shining!

the star is fall'n

"Bid that welcome which comes to punish us, and we punish it, seeming to bear it lightly" - Antony

a sleepy drowsy day, drunken with monday fatigue (as i term it) and lots of nonsense-sprouting frm a very tired and sleepy girl.

omg 30 days. i was still living in 20 days ago. how i wish time wld stop. wait up for mee!!

take me away

having a college med student in church can be rather interesting and.. informative. we've been fed with medical facts, bio terms, and many more, but nothing can beat what enquan shared today during combined cell grp sharing. he practically gave us a walk-through description of a gynecology exam, and his difficulties in finding women to practice the exam on that they have to hire women to test their exam skills on. o_0 frm what i gather the process doesnt rly seem all that pleasant to both the performer and performee. maybe it was a blessing in disguise that i didnt take bio after all haha

had a pretty gd talk wit lide ytd night and i rly thank God for such a friend (: my shoulders felt alot lighter after the talk (: thnx alot bro *hugs* screw the NS enlistment God will make a way!! (:

*sniff* i think ive caught a cold ): again. maybe thats y i have absolutely no mood to go out. all i wanna do is snuggle up cozy in bed under my quilt with ice-cream n chocolates and stay there forever. 60 more days!!

gd luck to all the promos-takings-or-attemptings! just do your best and let God do the rest (: as the "saying" goes.. easy peasy lemon squeezy!

happy childrens day!

a sincere greeting to all kids, both below 12, and over 12 (: afterall, we're all children at heart, and children of God!

worship seminar today was awesome. worship was led by sonic edge -gasp- and the speaker was robert brenner. he spoke about the fundamentals of worship and it was truly inspiring (: in more ways than one. felt a rly strong sense of peace during worship, and the whole seminar set my perspective about worship in place.

during worship i saw someone who looked like someone else. which got me rather puzzled. until i found out it was actually another someone else whom i knew. either i have a pretty vivid imagination, or alotta pple juz happen to look like someone else.

or maybe.. the meager 5 hours of sleep is catching up on me.

haha orchard was pretty empty today. i like (: why is it empty? because everyone is prolly studying their asses off while im attempting to finish my cheese fries. which just makes me doubly sinful ):

im still counting the stars...

a few stupid but funny quizzes ripped off frm mike's blog haha..

You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

hmm. maybe.

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

hehe cool. i am easily fascinated, but idk bout the rest. haha

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front. Shy and private, you yearn for security. You take relationships slowly. You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

hmm. quite true.

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

wahaha. true true. as i was saying about my imagination..