tunnel of love

my com's been reformatted. its amazing how u can spend so much time building up a bank of data in ur computer, n it only takes about 5 minutes to wipe it all out. but in this case, it's pleasurable news since these data's been causing me lotsa trouble. so it's gd riddance. thanx Dad.

my weekend's juz passed like tt. bam. n its gone. i reckon i did nothing meaningful at all. but it was fun nonetheless.

found myself in a dilemma btwn zenmicro n ipodmini while in paris silk @ holland v. in the end, i decided not to indulge in impulsive shopping, while my dad completely ignore that rule by purchasing an LCD tv screen. but it's cool. he's juz got it fixed up in our living room. one more tech savvy gadget in the household. not a problem at all.

i dread sch tmr. for more reasons than one.

im not an actor im not a star

tis a day where the Arts-students-turned-ponstar enjoy themselves thoroughly. i kno i did :)

met sarah grace n zhic at city hall b4 sarah n i went shopping at taka. stopped by at reds to get our hair done. splurged an immoderate amt on the cut&wash&blow. but they did a pretty gd job i have to say. n i was pretty contentd wit the outcome minus the nagging reminder of the financial hole tt ive juz enlarged. nonetheless, sarah n i emerged happy customers, wit a not-so-happy part when a few sa1 pple suddenly emerged at the entrance, catching us looking our weirdest at the 2nd last stage of the haircut process. bleh.

lunch @ coffee bean was gd. im still pretty amazed how the meager mixture of vegetables n eggs in the Caesar salad manages to fulfill my lunch appetite. twas gd food, notwithstanding.

shaiwan & mark's arrival commenced slightly after sarah's departure frm coffee bean for home. gd timing of the day :) another round of shopping around taka began b4 we checked out cinemas for movie times. final call: hide&seek at PS. it was a pretty gd movie, wit a staggering twist for an ending. however, i reckon i watched less than half of the movie (again) due to my constant hand shield tt instinctively comes up whenever the music turns eerie. on the scare scale, the movie would rank bout an 8/10; on the scream scale, 6/10. i would recommend it.

dinner was once again, no surprises, at swensons in holland v. im getting rly sick of tt place. but we got our photos taken n printed out on stickers for free. free neoprints for dining at swensons. pretty pretty. met sarah n chris there too lol. but i already knew they were gonna b there so no surprises.

ok i juz watched the trailer for the movie 'closer'. yes n it looks fantastic. we actually tried to get tickets for tt movie juz now, but the counter lady fussed bout the apparent lack of IDs frm mark shai n seok cuz it was an M18 show. no go. but i so wanna watch it now. whoever's born feb 1987 or b4 n wanna watch it.. ring me pls.

cry holy

"In my loneliness, You were there. To reveal Your righteousness in my despair"

the end of terms was marked by a heavy downpour, ending the oven-days we've been leading. hopefully. as i expected, i walked into the exam hall full of complacence, and walked out pissed n full of regret. i doubt i can pass the paper, much less ace it. ah well i look forward wit much dread to the ssp days.

this is becoming a nightmare. i keep retreating, and yet i juz find myself being pushed further n further into a corner where im trapped. in more ways than one. i need more time. u cant expect everything to go ur way. n u cant expect me to deal wit everything the way u deal wit it. i dont wanna talk about it. n yet, i want to. to get it done n over wit. OVER. i dont wanna hurt u. but everything u're doing juz makes me wanna draw a thick red line in the middle. slice ur heart up. i need space to breathe. n yet, u're suffocating me. juz leave me alone. please

...

no one prolly knows wad im rambling about. it's prolly better that way. everything's much too publicized. big stories to talk about. talk bout voyeurism. sigh. but sometimes i juz need pple to hear me out. cuz im juz so trapped. so perturbed. wat i want to do, n wat i should do.. idk anything anymore.

i sound highly confused. cuz maybe i juz am.

lunch @ swenson's was pretty gd. u hardly see so many ACJC pple in one place eating together ever. the SA1 peeps, councillors, n kb n i. in celebration of wayne's birthday. AHred miraculously vaporized after the math paper. so much for class unity.

shopping commenced thereafter. wit sarah n grace :) we went to lot1 mall n got wayne's wallet. girl bonding's so much more fun than hanging wit guys sometimes. most of the time. tho i was seriously drained. sigh.

the sky cried on me as i made my way home. juz on time for dinner. we're leaving for holland v in a few min. n my mom happily announced tt we're dining at swenson's tonight. hey sarah guess wad i'll beat ur swenson's frequency record. swenson's, at holland v, TWICE in a day. wow whee.

final paper!

i saw it today. i saw it. as i was walking up the lil hill tt leads to my house debating whether to step on a stone to prevent falling to my death, i saw legs sticking out of the bushes. moving legs. too much legs. fancy telling ur child that he was conceived in a bush on a steep hill.

geog paper's history. n boy am i glad. staying up to study last night has drained most of the energy in me, n i felt too tired to even write today, much less FOUR frigging essays. i didnt kno there were so many qns. i seriously contemplated dropping the subject. its juz too much writing. for 3 days ive been writing non-stop. n it's not gonna end here.

went home wit shai mario tennis was so tempting. but sleep was even more alluring. collapsed on the bed when i got home n peace fell for an hour or so b4 i went to school AGAIN. to study math. wit the fmath pple. it was quite fruitful i guess but ive developed a tad too much complacency for the paper tmr. everything seems easy. but i dont think i'll b walking outta the exam hall wit too happy a smile tmr.

got a ride frm zhic's dad. once again he thot i was attached. its pretty funny how everyone seems to think im attached. wads wrong wit being single n happy? sometimes i think alotta pple juz fabricate things cuz it'll make a gd story. like media, like pple.

aight back to math. life's gonna b good once terms are over. i juz kno it.

night life? or lack thereof..

fallen terms. arrival of terms have caused several turmoils within us. esp today. t'was a bad day wit severe conflicting interests of cherie n i btwn studying geog and cutting some slack. or aLOT of slack.

these few days i've gotten a further glimpse of the hustle n bustle of holland village, slightly b4 real night life starts. which is prolly around 10pm or later. subway's been ripping some cash off ACJC students. esp "studying-into-late-nights" ACJC students. like ME. it is always fascinating watching pple trudge into subway at 9pm in the PJs, ordering footlongs for takeaway. and today i discovered tt pple do actually wear fuzzy pink furry slippers out of the house.

the company's always great to study wit. i thank God for such friends who see me thru my insanity tt develops as i realize how much i havent been paying attn in class. or they would join me in 'insaniquarium' as they plunge into REALITY as well.

studying ytd was hell alot of fun. the void deck at night evokes such serenity n peace. i juz wanna sit at the bleachers and watch the stars. tis a beautiful sight. seok n shai went a tad over the edge frm the studying, n indulged in a game of 'tennis' using textbooks wit the bouncy ball tt grace bought me frm dover mkt. andrew was more than slightly amused. as for me, i was doubling up wit laughter. we went for dinner @ holland v after tt. gd food, gd company, gd work. hallelujah

term papers were BAD. we're in a constant race for time. like for GP and econs. lit, it was simply disastrous. it nv cease to amaze me how many interpretations can b derived frm a single poem. the duality of language. as for my interpretation, i turned the poetry about industrial revolution into a remourse poem mourning the death of a man who had ended his life via suicide. tt more or less slashed my marks into half. ha ha.

time check: 10:09pm. sleep check: none. sleep-time check: prolly 1am. reason: geog paper. hello tourism. bye sleep.

wedding bells ring

t'was a gd day. other than the fact tt i juz got home n will have to leave in another 10 min which ultimately alludes to the the harsh reality of my lack of revision for the terms.

had my dose of nature thru the scrutiny of my geog notes in the morning. tho reading about drainage systems and convectional rainfall is far frm the "pleasurable experience" nature is commercially known to provide. tho, nonetheless, fruitful.

met up wit 3 traffic jams, a near car-accident, and a peeing dog by the road shoulder b4 arriving at church barely on time. once again, im in the worship team. hoo ha no surprises. but tis a week wit the inclusion of our new-found drums and drummer. tt is another story by itself.

adjourned a few floors down to lois & alex's wedding thereafter. balloons decked the isle, wit two pillars of yellow n white balloons framing the stage. it was beautiful. both the ambience and the bride. the procession followed, n the sermon. then it came the part where i was dreading. the tearing part. as weddings would go, appreciations to the family would always b the time where the hundreds of hours spent on makeup would go to waste as gallons of water roll down the bride's (and for this wedding, the groom as well) cheeks. not only that, the tear dusts would b sprinkled in the congregation as well, as girls (and guys) begin to sniffle n dab their eyes. like ME. being an innate romantic, i found the scene highly touching and heart-rending. tho i cant say the same applies to the guys sitted around me. who were rather unsympathetic to my gush of emotions. where are the girls when u need them.

i wanna get married too

blessed by the spirit of God

God works in miraculous ways. He makes all things beautiful in His time. no one knows when anything is going to happen, but when they do, i take comfort knowing that it is in His plan. and i sing praises in His name just for that. :)

it's pretty amazing as i look back upon this day, to see the art that God's hands has created. things just fall into place when i put it in His hands, because He is above all powers. piece by piece, they fit perfectly, so i know they have been planned by our Heavenly Father.

it wasnt an easy day for me, but God made it beautiful for me :) in a sense, He let me find my motivation and encouragement in people. in more ways that one. lol. today, the morning encounter jumpstarted my day. more than that, it painted a colorful smile to my day.

so many things almost went wrong. but they didnt. like when i ALMOST missed mr lynn's lecture again cuz i thot it was recess. but thank God for friends around me, who reminded me specifically cuz i was prone to miss the geog lecture on fri.

the list goes on. may today be a testimony of God's powers and glory. He makes all things beautiful in His time. how true indeed

an jing

i had a rly bizarre dream last night. it was pretty unnerving esp since it was crystal clear even after i woke up. in the dream i was running. i was trying to escape from 6 bad burly guys at a gas station. i was rly frightened, so as dreams would have it, i was a pretty fast runner n i juz kept running. but after a while, they managed to trap me at the front of the gas station, n i got caught. n heres the weird part: they started pushing me about, n one of them plucked out one of the gas pumps, and forced me to bend over it. i fought, and then it was a blur, and suddenly i was running away frm japanese soldiers in a diff setting.

somehow, in this scene, my family was involved, but my mom's name was tanya. i have NO idea why. wad happened was pretty hazy.. but i rmb something bout the japanese soldiers wanting to capture me. the running happened again, n i was again the really fast runner. then juz as i thot i would escape, there was this rly big n tall soldier who stood right in front of me, blocking my way. i panicked (in my dream), and attempted to run the soldier down. he got mad, and grabbed my wrists n flung me to the floor. violence.

i realized my dreams always have to do wit running. somehow or another im always running away frm people/things tt want to capture me. when i was young, i was running away frm evil crabs and lobsters. now i'm running away from evil men. n in all my dreams, i'll get caught. it's always something about the loss of control. i need a dream interpretor.

jubilance :)

it's a happy day, and i thank God for the weather. it's a happy day, and i'm living it for my God :) yes it had been an amazing day, n i have a feeling this post is gonna b longer juz cuz of tt. haha.

shai seok raj n i had a pretty funny 40 min in the NL today. we were listening to a recording of seok's guitar playing on her zen micro haha n it took the guys 10 min to figure out the reason there was no sound in the headphones was cuz it wasnt plugged in. HAHA. n then we decided to indulge in our childhood and scare ms j when we saw her coming up. apparently hiding under tables is way past our age, cuz she saw thru it rightaway lol. it was pree-tee amusing nonetheless.

i cant seem to escape the claws of lalaland and dreamland. especially in classes.

iris neha rita cherie n i hung in the void deck after sch. the early dismissal didnt make much of a diff actually haha we ended up memorizing antony&cleopatra quotes. so after tt we got changed, n as we were walking out, mark ng offered us a ride in his car to mcritchie. woohoo. tt guy is way cool. haha.

ahh the run was pretty bad. i had chest pains during the run. it was juz some side-effects frm my heart problem, but it affected my timing nonetheless. i was pretty disappointed in the run. o well cant avoid losing my stamina after a year of non-PE. PMC sucks. in a way.

took a bus back wit charles after the race. i made him wait while i changed out hehe :P so we were at the bus stop, n we let FOUR 74 buses past us due to diff reasons. haha. and the last one was cuz we were waiting for zhic. who missed the bus by a few seconds. :( talked to sarah cheng on the bus too. shes pretty friendly actually. different frm all the rumors i've heard about her. the ugly works of rumors.

today was a happy day :)

mm ok fine here's my valentine's day..
it was pretty ok. the hype was up song dedication operated throughout the day. n blasting music makes me rly happy so i was pretty high thru the day. haha. o n i got quite a few flowers n lil trinkets frm my dear friends! :) as a girl who thinks tt flowers are the most beautiful creation on earth, those lil moves rly made my day haha. mm we had chamber after sch n they ordered in pizza! haha but i didnt eat a single slice cuz i was on the phone. :( prac was BORING, esp when samuel didnt go again which means i have to sit in first desk! tt idiot. anyways~ got home.. n got quite a few surprises. definitely wasn't boring.. but wasnt all tt great either.

there. trevor. u have it

wow whee

hmm. the past few days have been, in short, interesting. in definiely more ways than one. it took me on a pretty adventurous joy-ride i would say.

and heres the premiere to the days of MY life..
Sunday:
church. abel led worship, so as it goes i was in the praise team AGAIN. it was gd tho. the sermon was gd too. cell grp outing after tt. we went to ernest's place :) it was pree-tee fun. we split into a few grps for lunch at Junction eight. abel ernest isaac aaron evynn bryan celine frederick lide n i went to thai express. yummm. chilled at ernest's after tt n had a pretty awesome impromptu praise session. pple were juz calling out songs n we sang them together. praise God for a wonderful cg time.

Monday:
it was valentine's day. period.

Tuesday:
i was frigging tired. sarah n i were on the phone till like 1am the previous night. my face was literally screaming EYE BAGS n SLEEP throughout school. dreamland caught up wit me in almost every single class. so much for being tough.

went to town wit wayne after sch to shop for presents for his friend. when the going gets tough, even window shopping satisfies the crave. lol. the rly cute ashley beans pigs are still selling fast at PS. its been there for like.. forever.

ahh x-country run tmr. i have no idea which part of the wiring in my brain went wrong during house meeting when i signed up for competitive run while armored by my permanent MC. nature calls i guess.