chinese new year

it has been a fun new year (:

happy pictures, happy smiles, happy people (:





our family shot at church. as per every single year that i can recall. the tradition. our tradition. more pictures @ webshots..

im really thankful for my church family (: the only constant in my everchanging life, with friends whom ive known and grown up with since forever. i feel so comforted knowing that even as we face up to the countless changes in our lives, with graduations, overseas studies, and whathaveyous, there will always be the house of God and His community there for me. i feel more secured, grounded, and protected (:

this chinese new year brought about happy reunions with the family and friends. a reason to catch up, and dwell amidst the joyful fellowship. we even had praise & worship sessions (: and not forgetting, mahjong sessions @ grandmother's!!! funfunfun, altho im still rather blur about the game. ALSO, got to meet up with a couple of the clean-shaven NS boys, looking tanner, fitter and buff-er already haha. i really miss everybody ):


Would you dance,
If I asked you to dance?
Would you run,
And never look back?
Would you cry,
If you saw me crying?
And would you save my soul, tonight?

dance with me

reunion dinner. cozy, comfortable, and homely (:





our dogs were a lil dolled up for the occassion. but thats ok (: they just looked all the more adorable. plus we watched narnia. again. nicenice (:

i love chinese new years (: with so much nice goodies to stuff ourselves with, families to visit, and big fat red packets. happy cny everybody!

aint nothing gonna break my stride

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden." - Claudia Ghandi

studying at this hour brings back memories of late-nights before prelims and As. the serenity and silence of the night; the tiredness of the body and soul, with the brain urging on to swallow just another chapter of knowledge; and definitely, the sweet longing for bed and sleep.

but no choice. math and lit SAT IIs on sat. once again i have managed to procrastinate the brightness of my future to the darkness of late-night studying. queen boo of procrastination.

and then my phone vibrates, and i see this on the screen:

"I heard someone whisper ur name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I notice I was alone, then I realize it was my heart telling me that I miss u"

awwwwww....

im such a sucker for sweet romantic (but cheesy) quotes (: so i went to good ole google for such quotes, (in my attempt at procrastinating again) and i found this:

"The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them"

ahhh. how true.

anyhow. i think i walked another 10k today while shopping with mac. and nearly died while fighting the crowd at bugis street in search for my skirt. BUT, i bought yet another pair of charles&keith heels. wee~ pretty pretty heels with a cute ribbon at the front (: i love their shoes.

ok enough procrastinating. back to math..

to love and be loved

I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you dont try
I'm not afraid to fall
I might just learn to fly
And I will spread these wings of mine

im feeling pretty comfy (: cozy.

finally got alotta stuff settled, and fitting snugly into everything else. putting my past behind me, and looking forward to a whole new world! (:

past few days of shopping. and more shopping. lovelove. my pay's finally come in too, which just made more room for shopping (: shopping for new clothes, as if putting on a new identity, trying on different roles and daring myself to venture into different styles. its fun; more than just a barter trade btwn paper money and fashion.

more shopping tmr (: shopshopshop! and cherie, i got the shoes from charles&keith after all :p

know His strength

Daddy's driving this ride. or is He? im not really getting a straightforward answer as i had hoped. many people around me jump to their own conclusions - leading to the vocalization of various commentaries. its easy to attain the approval of others. but what matters most is the approval of God. - silence -



came across the picture as webshots automatically transformed it into a wallpaper. our bracelets of light (: i certainly wouldnt mind some light right now. no more well-lit paths, plunged into mysterious darkness. i miss school ): that which was much easier and less tiring than working long shifts, worrying bout reaching sales targets, and racing to work each morning hoping that i would reach my punchcard on time so that my pay wouldnt get docked. i miss school ): dreadfully.

when i fall down You pick me up
when i am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all...

on a brighter note, we were pleasured tonight by the beautiful live latin american music in orchard after work (: although it became apparent that all my MEP knowledge about non-western music has involuntarily deleted itself, but latin american music is still ranked among top favorites (: it sounds so happy; makes you wanna dance.

no more shifts at YSL till the after chinese new year!! (: ok except one morning shift on wed. im tasting the sweetness of late mornings already...

say goodnight

these few days have been pretty fun (:

i realized that i actually enjoy myself when i dont have to work at YSL. its amazing how much energy can be zapped outta you when u do 8 hour shifts, and live&breathe makeup. sigh. so we've been upgraded to "beauty consultants" instead of promoters now. such euphemism. but on a brighter note, product discounts and getting paid to model for leo aint such a bad deal (: plus, we got a free makeover haha. tho it wasnt that fantastic but anyhow. free money (:

sometimes i wish i werent that sentimental. getting rushed over by waves of nostalgia at times errs my judgment and rationality. being emotional is one thing; but being sentimental, is a totally different story. it makes it harder to give up things even though i know i should, like giving up one of my two jobs to get a life back. but its so hard when you've grown closer to the people and the company; it makes it harder to say goodbye. yet rationally, i know what i should do. right now, i just dont know which, and how.

but when i hand things over to God, i know things will turn out fine (: trusttrusttrust.

it's black it's white

lets just say, that it's neither now. it's grey.

and i hate grey areas. unfortunately, thats the color im stepping on right now.

i realized that i have not yet allowed God take over completely. each and every time, i try to take all of it into my own hands, make my own decisions, figure out my own emotions. im afraid of falling, but i have to learn to trust. i cant see the big picture, but He can.

ive also realized that its easy to adopt a didactic tone, esp when it comes to myself. but its not easy to apply what i know is right. perhaps its time to take a step back, take a break, and think it through. time to do whats right, instead of doing what feels right.

i really dont wanna screw this up. i treasure you too much. maybe time and space is all i need. but maybe, just maybe, it'll take more than that...

save me

But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face..

yup. things are more smiley and happy now. it must have been pms.

and in testimony to that, i have been eating and eating a LOT. it cant be helped when just two floors below your workplace lies the most amazing food haven in singapore - taka food court. in my dazed and bored mode i squeezed in a 15 min break from my shift to grab some snacks, and i did face some wide wide selections to choose from. i emerged satiated, happy, and very full.

then when mac came for lunch and then dinner, we were once again awed by the wide wide selections of food. plus the generous samples given by the cny food fair, and stufit cheese baked potatoes, and sausage prata.. i think im really gonna grow fat.

but at least im happy (:



Hopes can fail and dreams can fade
Rain can fall down on your big parade
Maybe love will take your heart or break your heart
There are no guarantees
But love will always find you when you just believe

bring me back to you

im prolly pms-ing.

maybe its the lack of slp. or the lack of time to do the things that i wanna. or because im struggling with an issue that's bothering me rather immensely. or maybe all of the above.

thanks for taking all my nonsense-sprouting and grouchy mood, and making me smile..

but somehow, theres a feeling of unfulfilledness in me. i know i have so many things to give thanks for, too many blessings to count. and yet, there seems to be something missing in my life. a gap in my heart that cant be filled with whatever i have right now. theres a thirst for that special something to make me whole. if only i knew what.

draw me close to You
never let me go..

pms is always an available and ready scapegoat for the occurences of bad mood. maybe this is just a phase. but maybe, it is a problem all by itself.

and once again, i feel like running away from it. tho i know i shouldnt and cant.



You are my desire
no one else will do
so nothing else could Your place
to feel the warmth of Your embrace..

carpe diem

slowly. bit by bit. im learning to trust all over again. to see the rainbow and sunshine after the rain. perhaps, like you said, this new journey has already begun. if i let it all go, and trust completely. again.

my 3rd off day in this week. although i wasnt informed of it till i actually GOT to my workplace. so after leaving early at bryan's party, dragging myself outta bed unwillingly, and 8 bucks of cab fare, i found myself in the company of abundant time, without agenda in orchard. perhaps a blessing in disguise, but only after i get over the wasted time and money.

more chivas and absolut vodka at bryan's birthday party ytd (: it was funny hearing the bday song sang 8 times in a row for the 4 january babies. heartwarming, celebrating this occassion with the close friends that we've grown up with. gd food, gd company (:

i cant help but smile (:

thanks for being my sunshine..


hold me in Your arms
never let me go..

sweet 19!

okay. im officially impressed (:

this was the first surprise birthday party where i was actually really.. surprised (: albeit there was a few bloopers in the execution. where joshua's ringing phone and wet shoes gave away the hiding but moving figures in the dark badminton court. where the rly cute and nicely sculpted balloons on the table next to the swensons cake gave away the plan. where mac's rather suspicious behavior signaled that there was something more than the kinder surprise he handed me upon sending me home.

but. i loved it (: thanks so much guys for coming down at midnight. i really had a great time (: esp catching up with my favorite homies! (: thanks seok, cherie, josh, matt, and mac for such a wonderful time. love ya all!

and i got the guess eau de parfum! absolutely gorgeous (: complete with butterfly wrapping paper! thanks soo much.






also those who showered me with gifts and wishes and made me feel so loved (: and those who called from overseas just to sing me happy birthday. thanks for making my day (:


looking through the eyes of love...

sunrise

I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms..

i detest waterproof mascara. its so hard to remove and it makes you look like you're putting on fake lashes. which is prolly what the makeup is for, but i hate it. what i hate even more, is that our trainer instructed us to wear that everyday. BOO. she's apparently one of the finalist in star idol, but too bad i dont watch that show, so i dont participate while a few of the staff in metro go gaga over her. but shes real pretty (:

2 more days. till i officially leave behind my sweet 18. ready or not here i come. had a gd 18 years of my life (: much more to learn, more room to grow haha.

soon the rain will stop falling baby
so lets forget the past..

LOVE-ing

i love happy songs (: happy love songs at that haha. the band's called mayday in english. so cute! i finally understood what they were singing after googl-ing their lyrics in chinese. and its so sweet! celine i bet u're feeling the same feeling now too (:

work's becoming more fun as the days go past (: thanks to great colleagues and friends who visit (: ohoh had a mini rendevouz with mr lynn at the YSL counter as i futilely tried to persuade him to buy perfume. a second before that, mac was commenting bout how he wldnt be surprised if we saw mr lynn here. and WA-LA mr lynn was in front of us lol. be careful what u wish for haha. consciously or otherwise.

oh and i found a teeny toys'r'us at paragon! it was FUNFUNFUN. all the baby dolls i wished i had when i was a kid, and lego, and barbies, and dumb games.. reminiscing about childhood and wondering where our innocence have disappeared to. and a mini light saber battle with light sabers that didnt have lights because the batteries ran out. tsktsk. but it was fun (:



a dosage of vitamin love..

you're beautiful

ive finally found something worth reaching for..

i got a rather cute surprise at work today (: gd things come in small packages dont they? it was rly sweeeet (: and it rly made my day. a tiny wish come true haha.

i revisted my childhood today again (: truly children at heart. shooting monsters at the arcade instead of doing our road show because it was raining. a blessing in disguise (:

more work at YSL tmr. workworkwork. its like im paid to put makeup on myself.

superman

i cant stand to fly..

makeup. makeup. and more makeup. i think i'll dream about makeup tonight. and apply even more makeup tmr. rouge, gloss, matt lipstick, mascara, foundation, eye shadow, lip liner, eyebrow pencil.. fun thing was, i got to play and experiment with all of em. makeup haven. pretty gd for the first day of work (:

except my legs are prolly killing me. did canvasing for starhub after my morning shift at YSL. double dosage. at least the company was gd. and we ended early. PHEW.

im feeling a whirlpool of emotions. withdrawal symptoms, plus a whole load of others. or maybe, simply, a refusal to grow up. a wish for nevernever land. i miss you, you, and you. i miss all that. maybe its gd that im so busy afterall haha.


Your heart, your plan
Give me your eyes help me understand...

thats my goal

its been a while. since ive been overwhelmed with that kinda feeling. almost. it just caught me right there, and made me go 'whoa'. and i know that its time to take a step back, breathe, and think.

Daddy's driving this ride. no more rollercoasters for me. im getting too old haha.

so. jordan treated the entire starhub team to ktv and drinks ytd (: it was fun. the guys are just CRAZY. had a great laugh at kitchen, who had his fair share of non-alcoholic iced milo because he was underaged. well, it was non-alcoholic until he started adding chivas & absolut vodka into iced milo. LOL. altogether, people from totally different circles, leading totally diff lives, holding on to diff perspectives of life. we learn many things frm each other.

2nd round of shopping at post-christmas sales got me 2 zara tops, a skirt, and black pants at gd bargains. theres just such a kick at getting gd clothes at cheap prices (: im loving it! haha.


thanks for making me whole again...

someday we'll know

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me tonight...

stargazing at esplanade. something close to my heart - fulfilled. with people even closer to my heart. searching for answers in our stars that peppered the cool night sky. recognizing a common fear and anticipation for this year. no longer "next year". that year's gone and passed. stepping out of our comfy bubble, into the unknown world ahead. but.. i really dont wanna leave this world behind. because i love it too much.

sigh.

but. esplanade's really very pretty at midnight (:

cherie's still doing her morning reading in bed now. our sleepover was actually REALLY a sleepover. hehe. i was so tired i just fell asleep on the couch while watching chick flicks. dont wanna go for work later -sulk-



regina and i at church sleepover (: the one with celine as well was blur! BOO. the guys can be seen dota-ing at the back. guess we have diff ways of starting the new year haha.

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you

happy new year! (:

joy is a really happy girl (:

i finally relished my dream of watching fireworks at esplanade. went for countdown ytd with a bunch of really good friends (: although it did mean sardin-ing amongst about 3000 people on one fullerton, and wishing that everyone were shorter so i could actually breathe and see. but it was totally worth it. there were so many new varieties of fireworks on display that awed and amazement are understatements, and a spontaneous crowd that cheered and chorused with "aahs", and applauding at the end of the display. it was worth it (:

anyways. happy new year everyone (: i still cant believe its 2006 alr. and i cant believe im gonna be NINETEEN in 11 days time. im growing up too fast.. and listening to the juniors complain about school starting, i find myself wishing that i actually had school to start in..

the same time one year ago, i was looking forward to skipping classes due to orientation commitments.. hehehe (: and right now, im NOT looking forward to working next year. i got a new job as SYL makeup promoter in orchard, most prolly working with melody (: anyone wanna buy makeup?? buy from me!! haha but juggling two jobs at once is gonna be an experience haha that i think i'd rather study.. sigh.

i should be sleeping right now. 3 sleepovers consecutively is enough to explain why. but its been alot of fun (: with my dog falling in love with ian, and insists on sleeping next to him, or chatting and playing sappy songs in church when we were sposed to be asleep.. haha. thanks guys (:



always be your baby..

new year's eve

a silent and empty church office is conducive for reflections and a trip down memory lane. before the havoc and craziness that will approach as midnight nears. this has been one of my most stressed out new year's eve, where i dread the strike of midnight, when my uni applications are due.

as this year draws to an end, i find myself wishing time would reverse itself. give me a chance to start over. many things i wish i could change, many moments i would want to relive. this has been a crazy year, complete with life's ups and downs, and drama-rama. but one thing i've learnt out of the 365 days, is to appreciate what i have. because you never know when they'll be taken away from you.

a new year, a new start. and im glad for it. time to leave things behind, start over with a clean slate (: many changes ahead, as we venture into untrodden waters. a little scary, yet exciting. God will provide.



this is how the story ends..