it's black it's white

lets just say, that it's neither now. it's grey.

and i hate grey areas. unfortunately, thats the color im stepping on right now.

i realized that i have not yet allowed God take over completely. each and every time, i try to take all of it into my own hands, make my own decisions, figure out my own emotions. im afraid of falling, but i have to learn to trust. i cant see the big picture, but He can.

ive also realized that its easy to adopt a didactic tone, esp when it comes to myself. but its not easy to apply what i know is right. perhaps its time to take a step back, take a break, and think it through. time to do whats right, instead of doing what feels right.

i really dont wanna screw this up. i treasure you too much. maybe time and space is all i need. but maybe, just maybe, it'll take more than that...