knotting the knots

i went for a massage with joshua a few days ago before reso rehearsals
i've been eyeing that teeny massage room that used to be YIH's tv room before it was converted to a massage centre
for $7.20, our backs were battered and rubbed and elbowed and pinched at where it was most painful
delighting the uncle & the auntie massuer and massuese with our cries of pain (and ticklish moments for me)
it was a rather painful experience for me, cuz whenever i commented that a spot was painful, the auntie went harder on it
acc to her, "the more painful the pressure, the more shiok later"

the massage got rid of quite some of the knots in my shoulders, but there remained the rest of the knots - in my mind.
sometimes i wished there was a massuese who would pinch away these mental knots that seemed to tighten every now and then
it got me wondering, does it take painful pressure to erase these knots as well?
when a person undergoes alot of stress, does it build him up or take him down?
when theres alot of pressure around me (self-imposed or otherwise), will i go through it and feel shiok after as well?

PMS has been my easy scapegoat, and i've been blaming that poor syndrome for all my unhappy knots
im still trying to ease these knots apart, bit by bit, slowly but steady.
and just hope for the best while im at it

on a side note, i watched the movie "superbad" with lide today, and it was just as its title suggested
or maybe its just a guy show, that contained more than 100 F-words by half time
nevertheless a nice movie because.. it was FREE! (: hahaha thanks lide
the other movie i've watched was "the brave one" with mac.
which has mentally unsound characters living out mentally unsound values
boy im glad im not living in the US.

now back to the essay i've been avoiding by blogging.
back to.. reality.