self-worth

definition: the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect

in a way, everyone is in pursuit of self-worth in whatever they do.
to attain that sense of dignity and pride for self, and respect from others.
people are empowered by self-worth, because only then do they feel that they are valuable to themselves and others.
i use to think self-worth could be attained by what you achieved, or what you had.
or maybe even what you portray yourself to be, like what you wore, what you said, and what you did.

but really, self-worth doesnt come that simply.

as i was pondering about the issue of self-worth, i concluded that it depended on a few factors.
firstly, the achievements that brought about the glory and pride, the results that speak of your talents and hard work and commitment. this, grants you respect and esteem on a basic superficial level.
secondly, emotional support from the people around you. because only when the people who matter to you show and treat you with respect and with dignity, will you be able to establish a sense of self-worth.

similarly, failures that speak of your incapacity and weaknesses may trigger a sense of disappointment, and prolonged disappointment may lead to a feeling of worthlessness. the value in you seems to decrease by a few notches because you fail to meet expectations.
coincidentally interlinked to that, the disappointment from others around you would lead to a lack of self-worth, because you feel as though you have let them down again and again, even when you're trying really hard not to. which really sucks.

and after all that baloney that i've just rapidly typed out above,
it led me to think of how great God's love is, for He loves us even when we do the most worthless value-less things. or rather, when we fail to do things that are worthy of love and respect.

this entry has no conclusion. because i dont have one.
maybe "if at first you dont succeed, try, try again".
or maybe, "i'm gonna try to stop failing"
or maybe, just "God loves you no matter what" (:
argh. or all of the above.