romantic cellphone

sometimes, when ur cellphone is over-buzzing with activity, it aint romantic anymore. esp when you think of the bill thats gonna come at the end of the month, complete with overtime charges and smses, and how much of my pay's gonna go into paying for it. BOO.

epiphany of the day:
You had me believing
You had me believing in a lie
Guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye


ytd's forfeit charades for strings party was temper tantrum. so, we did get the word "tantrum" across to the supposedly ignorant guys. but temper was just impossible to bring to life. and i think, sometimes, that ive lost my ability to bring temper to life as well. i cant seem to feel anger, even when i should. it wld be so much easier if all those pented up emotions could be channeled into temper. instead of sadness.

sigh. i hate zouk on mambo nights too. crowded, smoky, and.. crowded. but it was the friends who made it fun (:

ive been busting my ezlink traveling around s'pore this month. esp when we go around doing starhub roadshows. parkway parade today ended up with another late night talk and discovering how 7-eleven provides both good instant foods and alcohol (: PLUS, a winnie-the-pooh keychain! haha.

God takes, but He gives more than He takes (:


life. its about making choices..

keep on moving

Get on up
When you're down, baby,
Take a good look around..

well. God gives and God takes right? so, while He has taken, He has also given me an angel in disguise. or rather, just angels. and i know that things will be ok, because He is with me.

and when all fails, retail therapy is always the answer. so, mac and i blew off work ytd to go shopping (: we covered almost the entire orchard in the whole day, with mouth-watering sales and a relatively small crowd. i realized how easy guys have it when it comes to shopping. almost all of men's t-shirts and jeans were on 50% sale. and what else do guys wear besides tshirts and jeans? whereas on the other hand, girls who have the wide variety of blouses, tanks, and whathaveyous suffer the uneven 30% discounts. and theres way less material used in making those tops too. gender inequality haha :p

class party after made me miss AHRed a lot too ): tis the time of the year for reflections, and thats exactly what we did haha. got lots of catching up to do! :p


I woke up today with this feeling.
Better things are coming my way...

when the world around me crumbles, He will be strong. i know He will.



pls help me be strong as well...

my paper heart

so.. he was wrong. the sky did rain after all. well, but not till i got home (: i was strong enough to stop the rain from falling till i was in the vicinity of my own playground. but just not strong enough to stop the rain from falling altogether.

i guess i saw it coming. it was right in my face. just that having it confirmed was like having mud slammed into my face, suffocating me. thank god i had friends around to clear off some of that mud. so i can breathe once again.







i had a great time guys (: i love you all!! its amazing how we click even though we havent spent much time together. its truly wonderful how we stay so close despite being so different. and its crazy how hard we laugh just attempting to take neoprints, esp when sara whips out her gigantic canon camera as we step into the neoprint booth, defeating the purpose of neoprints altogether haha.

true friends are everlasting. and i am blessed with many true friends. just that sometimes its sad to remember.. how even best friends can fade away in time. i guess ive lost not one, but two best friends, who meant alot to me. time will pass, wounds will heal. life goes on.

i take comfort knowing Jesus is my best friend. knowing He'll never leave me for another. knowing that He's always there for me. im holding on to the everlasting Jesus. He'll never hurt me - that's for sure.


and she wishes today, was one year ago
you cared so much for her, loved her so
not a doubt in her mind that it would still be you
that the love that you shared, its true..

when you know

one of the main reasons i absolutely adore christmas.. is the FOOD. and that was our main attraction at family christmas feast today, complete with turkey, ham & bacon, crepes, spagetti, mashed potatoes, and more. from starved to stuffed. its prolly the only time you see SO much food on the table at once, and so many people at the table gathering that two long tables had to be connected to fit all of us! (:

and like a gd christian family celebrating christmas, we jammed and sang carols and songs. in parts (: music rly runs in the family haha. and its also music that binds the family.

so this christmas was a little diff from the other years. no midnight walks through the crowded streets of orchard, no camping out at abel's till the wee hours of the morning, no performing in the christmas celebrations in church.. but it was fun in its own way (: ironically, just before midnight of christmas, we struggled with the decision between clubbing, or going to crash melody's church with abel. no prizes for the final call haha.

so, just like that, in 4 hours time, christmas will be over. and in another 6 hours time, my family will be boarding a plane to their 12-day vacation without me. again. due to unforeseen circumstances. sigh. well, on the brighter side, 12 days of having the house all to myself (:


theres still so many things i wish to say to you
but i just cant find the words to say
unanswered questions where only you have the answer
but i just dont dare to find out...

santa are you listening..

what if.

what if im falling for you.

what if im falling for you. for the wrong reasons.

And all I want is one thing,
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree



santa that's my only wish this year..

all i want for christmas is you..

i thank god for how things fall into place. like a jigsaw puzzle - piece by piece, bit by bit, the genius work of a creative mastermind from above. remembering the days where things always seemed to work out because i had my lucky star. maybe ive found that star once again.

just some reflections on the eve of christmas eve. merry christmas everybody! (:

dont cha

back from fun camp (: managed about prolly less than 10 hours of sleep in the past 3 days im typing this with my eyes half closed while waiting for my hair to dry so i can.. SLEEP before i go for work later.




thats aaron sleeping with chips to cover his open mouth, and a bunch of us with the birthday girl and boy - happy birthday celine & evynn! (: haha girl you're finally as old as me!! lol but i'll be older than you again in about.. half a month's time lolol :p

so after the war games, late night talks, beach & pool fun, card games, bbq, mahjong and movies, there were lessons learnt, as well as new friendships forged and deepened (: definitely a fun time of bonding and learning more about each other even through the dumbest games (truth or dare), and growing and maturing when we learn to handle glitches that occur along the way.

im happy (:

aight. now. i. just. need. sleep. out.

live for today

first day of work. check.

late for first day of work. check. -glares at mac menacingly-

it was an experience for me. saw quite alotta things, learnt a lot more things, but as a noob, i closed a grand total of zero sales today. boo. tmr will be a better day (: but i thank god for a really nice and cool team leader, and fun team members to work with. got to know quite a few people in the team through night canvasing, most of them with crazy NS stories to tell haha.

church camp tmr (: yayy cant wait! but - i havent packed, nor finished my essays, nor signed up for relief teaching at schs, nor settled work schedules, nor caught up on much-needed sleep. sigh. however, i cldnt resist a fun quiz from seok's blog haha that had these two interesting segments..

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

which are quite true. haha. esp when most people have never heard of the occupation that i wanna be in. music therapist (:

SATs scores are out. i did surprisingly.. ok, considering i spent one day attempting to study it at benedict's house while my family was still holidaying away in HK. nothing too fantastic, but i guess im satisfied because its God's grace i didnt do even worse when i put in that little effort.

aight anyway too tired to think anymore.. out.

o christmas tree

"mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates. you never know what you're gonna get" - forrest gump


i would say, dark chocolate. for today. bitter and sweet all in one, only appreciated if you can overcome the initial bitter, and taste the overall sweetness of such deep chocolate.

many thoughts ran through my mind today. its amazing how much ur mind wanders, while you stand on stage, with countless spotlights heating up your face in front of prolly hundreds of orchard-visitors, singing christmas carols which lyrics have already automatically been stored in my brain. i saw many familiar faces in the crowd; some too familiar, while some whom i merely knew existed in school. but from the stage, they kinda just blur into a whirl, just as my mind was.

i liked our performance at the christmas tree better (: its really reassuring to see people rly moved by the music and words, and their faces shine with hope and anticipation, even for that very short 40 min. and its ever so amazing that we even get the opportunity to spread the gospel of Christmas so openly in the streets of orchard. its truly God's grace (: thanks to all who came down too (:

the price to pay: energy. i havent felt to zapped of energy for a while. been juggling many things at once - i hope i dont drop and break anything. haha. but yet i dont wanna lie in bed awake. an idle mind is a dangerous mind. sighh..



all the hope she once had.. so unreal

welcome to my truth

so. i finally got a job. working with mac as.. starhub promoters. ok, its a start. the pay's really attractive, and yet highly dependent on commission and incentives. so, anyone wanna help with my wages, please look for me and suscribe to maxonline and/or cable tv (: i'd love you to bits.

sob i am so aching from badminton with the strings guys ytd. butt aches made walking throughout town today so painful, esp when we practically went to almost all the places in town sigh. but i was rather amused and pleased when mac unleashed his skills in the catch-the-cuddly-toys-with-tongs machine in the arcade, and caught the chip'n'dale toy with just two tries! (: i didnt realize catching soft toys could be that exciting until today hehe. celine i can understand how u feel now! haha

tonight was also the first time we had so many people successfully turning up for dinner and outing! (: with the 87ers and many extra guys (hehe sorry! :p). the christmas decos are so pretty in orchard, plus the many performances put up along the road, there was a whole christmasy feeling - totally the right way to get into christmas mode (: i lovelovelove christmas!

ok im so tired right now. job training officially starts tmr (: hope i keep up the drive after i find out how tough it can be haha.

time of our lives

watching the red violin has gotten me very inspired to blow the dust off my violin, and start playing again. i guess nothing can really replace the magic of making music, and i just miss the weekly attempts we have (called string rehearsals) to make classical music sound nice, despite the many failed attempts :p

and today. my lucky charm re-surfaced in the form of macarthur. haha. ok, so we missed a job interview, but we were offered 2 free ticks to kingkong immediately upon our arrival at PS. hail safra, or safra ticket-givers who thought he was in NS or something. whatever it was, a free 3+ hour show was definitely well appreciated (: tho the money saved on that was prolly spent on the rip-offs of midnight surcharges grr.

ohohoh and i finally got cable tv too! (: here comes my flow of cartoons (yayy), movies, and home entertainment. one tv-addict coming right up! (:


and she said, yes, i am free...

all the small things

God gives, and God takes. i guess there isnt a need to ask why, because in faith, He makes all things beautiful in His time. now when i come to think about it, i realized that He's given me many, many things, although He has also taken. what He has taken away, is nothing compared to the love and friendship that He has given me. thanks for reminding me of God's abundant love (:

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive..

"Sadness flies away on the wings of time.." and is replaced, by none other than, JOY (:

getting a headstart on my chem conquest. so far so good, but i foresee information explosion to come when inorganic and kinetic chem begins haha. but i will survive! thanks zhic for the crash course (:


"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go"

chinese

今天一大清早，kenneth 教我怎样用华语 type，因为我在等一个很懒的人起床. type 华文原来是这么容易，也很好玩。所以，我们就用华语在 MSN 上 chat, 可是我已经忘了很多话文字，所以看起来就像这个 post 一样 pathetic.

questions with no answers

ive landed myself in more questions with no answers. or at least, those which answers have not YET been found. including my latest chem craze - attempting to cram the entire chem syllabus into my small brain for SATs in a month's time. woohoo. NOT fun at all. after flipping thru the thick books of alien knowledge which ive just received, i think i shld claim overwhelming insanity.

grr. i must fight on. in the meantime, any chem help is graciously embraced (: and i mean ANY. this is wayy harder than i thought.

i feel so lazy and heck-care about everything. which really isnt gd. esp when im sposed to be preparing to go out now, but im really too tired and sleepy. ohoh and on a random note, ive found many people who're involved in CCIS (celebrate christmas in s'pore) as well! (: awesome. orchard's gonna be so beautifully decorated and lively with all the performances being put up, with caroling, dances, musicals, skits.. (: God's grace. caroling rehearsals have been pretty fun too, albeit tiring, just that it still feels a lil weird when my name seems to appear everywhere in the songs (joyjoyjoy!), tho i should be used to it by now.

here're some random snapshots of our hk trip to end off a very random post..



i just want to know the truth, beneath those broken promises...

-

sometimes i just wonder. why God wld take away something that meant so much to me. something that i gave thanks everyday for. God must have his reasons. those that transcend my understanding and comprehension, because it just doesnt seem to make sense. i pray for acceptance, but many a times i cant help feeling sad about it; i pray for strength, but many a times i feel so weak.

Sentimental days
In a mist of clouded haze
Of a memory that now feels untrue

but i truly thank god for those around me. who're ready to lend me an arm or shoulder to lean on. who've wrote me letters in sharing. who've called just to check up on me. who've been there for me. i love you guys (:

Tangled in a web
With a pain hard to forget
That was a time that I've now put to rest

when things are down, the only way they can go is up. so hopefully things will turn for a better soon (:



remember how you used to say
i'd be the one to run away
but i'm still here

when god made you

"Oh I wonder what god was thinking, when he created you.
I wonder if he knew everything I would need,
Because he made all my dreams come true.
When god made you, he must have been thinking about me.. "

a really really beautiful song. thanks marc for sending it to me (: never knew u were a romantic sorta guy haha (JUST KIDDING). but it really lifted my spirits. i guess good things cant happen all the time. there will be moments of sadness, times of dejection and hopelesseness. and when they do, i pray for the strength to pick myself up together and fight on. to move on to each new brighter day, and to hold on to happy memories. its prolly stuff like these that makes me appreciate what i have even more, esp the people around me.

always look on the bright side of life... (:

anyhow. HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY JASON! sorry i cldnt stay for the entire party. oh and you're officially an adult now!! haha so act like one! :p lol just kidding. hope you had fun! (:

my wisdom tooth's growing. now i know how i felt when i was a baby and growing teeth. in constant pain!! sobs. but maybe now i'll be wiser and my worldclass small teeth wont seem so small anymore... hehehe (:

i wonder what god is thinking...

tong hua!!

the best music needs not be from those who are well known. i just heard the nicest version of tong hua, sang by a blind busker and accompanied by his acoustic at the MRT station (: needless to say, many hearts were melted that evening. including mine (:

Chances are I'll see you
In my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer all i have..

made another trip to ritz carlton today (: to relive prom memories. HAHA. NOT. went there to take pics with lide for HC prom, and when he walked up, celine and i saw a HOTTIE with funky hair! woohoo. hahaha im serious lide you better send me sideview pics of your hair i forgot to take em just now! :p

another interesting encounter awaited shai and i after that, when we crashed olio dome for dinner just to visit waitress seok at her first day of work! haha (: omg everything was so expensive we decided to just have potatoes (in the form of wedges & fries) for dinner. shai did his fair share to irritate seok, while i just kept laughing haha oops :p

i still cant find my own job ): it feels like im not doing something productive and purposeful. an aimless wanderer who's having fun but ultimately not headed anywhere. and theres gonna be at least 8 more months till school starts again. i need to find some purpose in life!!


and she said, theres a time to forget, and the time is now...

of glitz and memories

prom night. that, which started with a big hoohaa of high-strung nerves and accentuated stress level when murphy's law enacted itself, also ended with a big hoohaa of crazy dancing and drinking at club momo.

before that, pictures which encapsulate the prim-and-properness of dinner at ritz, where food was left untouched as much as programs left unviewed.

that of the girls..





and the boys..



it was also a night of 'dingdings' and 'dingding wannabes' haha, in physical form or in memory. anyhow, it concluded with singing and walking through the streets of china town at 5am, and camping out in the hotel lounge because we didnt want to wake ms yim up at 6am, until the hotel operator called her by accident, solving all of our problems immediately.

but a truly memorable experience with a class that's unique in all ways.




and the reason is you..

sisterhood of the traveling jeans

In the dark
Moving hands to find my way
Reaching for a chance
And the words to say

And here I go
Letting go
Just to never let you go
I'm so scared to feel safe

a truly touching movie. about love, life, and loss. got me thinking about something that ive been brooding about for some time. that, perhaps im seeking that for the wrong reasons entirely. to make me forget the lows of the past, and dwell in the highs of the present/future.

maybe, that just isnt the way to go.

turn left turn right

"阴天傍晚车窗外未来有一个人在等待
向作向右向前看爱要拐几个弯才来.."


awww so cute..

i realized how much i missed strings after hearing the familiar wafts of rutter floating by my window, courtesy of my practicing neighbor and his violin. guess there has always been something magical about music, no matter how much a piece was overplayed and no matter how dreaded practices were. the beauty of music always supercedes, etched firmly as a pleasant recollection; always a part of me.

aside from the hectics of each day, like the longest exam i ever took (SATs), and the constant shopping, and friends, ive been doing some reading on my own (: got hooked on "the hobbit" after i re-discovered it, and made me rly crave for LOTR again! grr i havent even watched the last movie -.- someone lend it to me pls!! ):

still havent found my dream job yet. but ive got my dress! (: with a stroke of luck and a whole truckful of God's grace i found it just as i was about to give up haha. feels like a whole load taken off my shoulders. was gettin a lil heavy back there!

"我遇见你是最美丽的意外
总有一天我的谜底会解开.."

dinner with the guys was rather interesting. and romantic! i love bishan park haha. scratch that. i love parks! and for once, no dota talk! o.m.g so proud of em (: dinner also included free delicious tiramisu desert. lovelovelove. i wanna learn how to make tiramisu! wee~ *drools*


i wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides..

SATs words

i am credulous.

i am gullible.

i am fleeceable.

i am trusting.


so many diff words to mean the same thing. english is truly an expressive language. just that it sucks to have to be studying after As >.<

i really need to:
1) get a job. hopefully at starbucks! (:
2) buy my prom dress!!
3) get rid of SATs
4) catch up with long lost friends!! (:
5) sleep

anybody wanna hire me?? i promise to be hardworking, expeditious, zealous, gumptious, joyful and cheerful everyday! (: hehe all my SAT words rolled up in one

gonna attempt to finish studying SATs in just one day. gd luck to me. sigh.

get up

im sneezing every half a min or so. and the routine has been repeating itself for the past hours. sam said that when you sneeze, it means someone's thinking about you. so somebody out there must be thinking rly hard of me!! (: yeah right. guess im staring mr flu right in the face. again. ohno.

And I fly
I reach out my hands and touch the sky

sleepover at mel's was fun (: great time of bonding and alot more sharing among us couch potatoes. hehehe. realized we havent seen many of our classmates since prelims and through As. n its juz kinda sad knowing that there will be friends who will drift apart as JC comes to a close, and we part our own ways seeking individual dreams and ambitions. already feeling "unstudent" as iris puts it as we are now, and its a rather scary feeling for me, to be leading purposeless lives, "bumming around" for the next.. 7-8 months not knowing what's gonna come next and where we're gonna end up.

i guess it helps knowing Daddy has His plans for me. and i just gotta trust in Him to set the direction in my life. Daddy's driving this ride (:

i wanna go back to disneyland... ): it was rly awesome feels as if you step into a magical world of fantasy because of the buildings and people and parades. fireworks at sleeping beauty castle at night was so beautiful, and it was coupled with disney fairy tale music plus laser displays. pictures coming up soon! (: it was hell of an experience (:


I am moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
Feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?