your love is the greatest gift

hmm i did a da vinci code web quest. it was rly exciting cuz it was so real. fun stuff.

ACJC internal founder's day today. im pretty glad we had to play for reception cuz tt totally meant skipping the entire service. which i heard, frm multiple sources, was B-O-R-I-N-G. which samuel n i confirmed when we sneaked into the balcony seats to catch a glimpse of the action, or lack thereof. at least we had the freedom of speech and movement in the viewing gallery, makin our own music n waiting for the guests. on the other hand, i awarded my feet several blisters wearing those damned court shoes. poor poor soles.

splurged another hundred bucks on shopping after early dismissal of sch. bought a top @ forever 21.. lip gloss n other stuff. cherie n i walked the whole of taka looking for a beauty parlor to do her eyebrows. tough luck, none appeared in our field of vision.

mm juz watched xtreme makeover. it's amazing. not juz the physical changes. but how each of the participants, no matter how ugly and insecure they are, always have someone who loves them dearly for who they are, and will always be waiting to welcome him/her back. love is beyond skin-deep and superficiality. i think that's the message the show advocates, and it's that which makes it more than juz another reality TV show.

as long as you love me

i rly wonder what you're thinking. what you mean by the things you said. i know im not showing you the real me. the real me with the more than real feelings. that's because i dont want to leave myself vulnerable to the spears of hurt that may come. im afraid. afraid of the next step. i swore i would never jump into this without thinking again. and yet, i find myself in the same pool of confusion. again. wondering. i want you. and yet, you have no idea

got my result slip today. dont kno what to think bout a BCDE. nice progression, it being geog, lit, math, and econs respectively. bah ok it sucks alright? everything sucks.

had chamber rehearsal after sch. too short to b effective. but im not complaining. got a ride frm charles for half of the journey home. the rest, was traveled in solitude.

my mom's traveling to china tmr. tt leaves my home utterly parent-less. somehow that spells heaven

sweet slumber

i've collapsed into deep sleep the moment i got home frm sch. these few days have been rly crazy. the late nights are starting to have an effect on me.

had chamber rehearsal ytd. it kinda aggravated my sprained wrist. played even softer than the usual soft tt i play. anyways~ what was intended to b a 4 hours practice ended at 8pm when the conductor could not make it for rehearsal. charles, wayne n i went for dinner at kap. we got the ready-cooked chicken n ribs frm cold storage, n wolfed it down at mcdonald's. lol without any utensils.

school today was sposed to b short, but the leadership workshop took tt away. it was utterly BORING. cherie n i indulged in everything possible in an LT to keep awake. more than half of the class werent there. gee.

the walk wit my dogs was pretty refreshing. i went to the place i havent gone in some time - the children's playground. i love the swing. as i rode on the swing in the cool night air, i felt the awakening of the child in me. the sky was the opposite of the deserted playground, crowded and lit with the sparkling of stars. watching the sky made me feel so small. im but a mere figure in universe. and yet God loves me.

the alone time gave me space to think. to clear my thoughts. i could have watched the sky forever. im so lost in the world of the stars and clouds. it seems to draw me closer to Him.

u paint a smile to my face. i think of u, and only u. i wonder what thoughts run through ur mind as you see me; as u lift up ur face to smile as well. what am i doing? venturing into this realm. i know how much hurt it can bring if i tread on the wrong path. and yet, i'm doing it for you.

the gift

my very own situational irony of the day:
7pm. strutted to a bus stop only to miss my bus by what seemed like a milisecond.
8pm. still at the bus stop wondering why the bus hasnt come yet. wondering RLY hard.
8:15pm. gleefully sighted the bus and alighted.
8:16pm. cell rings. hello? what? only chris is there so life singers rehearsal is canceled? ok i'll turn back now.

............

for all tt cash spent on the bus fare n the time wasted, i believe in God's grace. my eyes felt like lead due to the apparent lack of sleep, n i was looking forward to ample rest to prep for the long day tmr. kids, be careful what you wish for. or rather, be careful what you pray for.

i'll juz take tonight as a overdued night walk. a time to b alone, a time to think.

had another series of high-strung gamecube battles at shaiwan's today. cherie seok kb n i went over after school's out. had an awesome time there. i love u guys :)

so to the rare monday night i have at home, im gonna treat my eyes to a few cool refreshing slices of cucumber, indulge in a bubble bath in my bathtub, paint my nails silver-pink, attempt the GP reading package, and couch-potato till the desperate housewives unleash their own suburban drama on TV. heavenly.

don't go breaking my heart

i just watched 'how to lose a guy in 10 days'. the satisfaction n joy derived frm watching such romance on film is overwhelming. it prolly dictates the absence of true love&romance in real life. in the show, love is a game. just as in reality. the BIG difference is, the show ends with the game blossoming into love. while in real life, everything ends, as the finish of a game. sometimes i wonder if im rly a romantic.

weekends blew past in a whiz. like they always do. completed my workout regime, n went for the redbluegold dinner @ barker on sat wit josh. it was ok, but definitely not worth the money. hung for a drink at coffee club thereafter. successfully cabbed home short of the midnight surcharge again.

sunday's worship was a tad off. but the sermon was gd. by rev hans walter. ive heard several of his sermons b4. somewhere. i cant rmb where. they're all pretty gd. a bunch of young eurasian missionaries venturing into Asia to spread the gospel. r-e-s-p-e-c-t. had lunch wit the '87ers. just like the gd ole times. it was definitely fun.

isabel's back frm the USA :) tts the only reason im looking forward to sch tmr. i cant wait to see her in sch!

probs, n more probs

twas a pretty rejuvenating day. exciting, since ive had enough slp for once.

so school was BS. teachers and students were juz too hyped up by the A'levels results to rly get down to any work at all. basically, we had a few pathetic half-hearted classes b4 being let off sch. joanne n i were picked to help out wit arranging the top A'level students who were going on stage to get their 'blessings' n the sheet of paper which guarantees them into top colleges. the students were crying, screaming, jumping or wad-have-u in the backstage, hugging teachers, fervently thanking them. tis a moving sight. mrs meow was in tears. awww.

the results were.. pretty gd. a huge bunch of pple had 3 distinctions and above. like a quarter of the cohort. including a smartass crazy nut who got 8 distinctions. like WOW. congrats to all seniors!

so after tt emotional tide, a bunch of us went over to shaiwan's. mario tennis n mario cart! they're my addiction. :) we camped there all the way till 6pm, n went down to school for Arts Night. omg this yr's programs were awesome. they were much better than last year's programs. lotsa dances, bands, n vocals. tho not all the bands were gd..

the same bunch of us went to holland v after tt, wit mark clement keith n pedro. due to the apparent indecisiveness of the guys, we only decided to settle in at swensons (again!) @ 10pm! lol on the plus side, shaiwan n i shared a free maincourse meal due to the 3-for-3 offer. shoot me for dancing in glee about tt. i paid service charge :)

cabbed home due to bad cramps. the timer on the cab was fast, n i barely made the midnight surcharge mark. i was all like, could u STEP ON IT please?! n reached my doorstep 4 minutes short of the doubling of my fare. hallelujah

i wanna watch hitch...

love

Sir i wanna buy these shoes
for my Momma please
It's christmas eve, and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And i know these shoes will make her smile
And i want her to look beautiful
if Momma meets Jesus tonight


i attempted to resurrect my piano skills in an hour of piano-playing, sightreading the scores off a new book. it was insane. i found myself futilely trying to reach the notes written - chords that were 11 notes apart. it sounded horrible as i voluntarily edited all these chords into spread chords. the maximum chord i could play was a 9-note chord. my hands nv felt so stretched thruout the pieces, where these monstrous chords appeared in almost every bar. i wonder who can play the actual written piece in the first place

started reading 'angels & demons' today. n i couldnt stop reading. but sometimes i find my faith a lil shaken of track. cuz alotta stuff tt talked about in the book.. alotta anti-christ content.. they're stemmed frm historical facts n figures. i mean yea it's a fiction book n all tt, but the 'fiction' is derived frm 'non-fiction', taking Christianity off the hook. idk. someone enlighten me

nobody's fool

my dogs can bring such a heartfelt smile to my face. even in my worst moments. i juz feel so much joy when i watch their every move, all so innocent and happy. happiness is infectious :)

people have monday blues. but i have wednesday blues. somehow when tt happens, i seem to be holding a magnifying glass, that make pple's faults juz seem so magnified and highlighted. including my own faults and insecurities. i felt i was being made use of. by pple who took advantage of my easily-agreeable nature.

so many issues. so much to think about. i was deeply down due to my dad's departure this morning as well. broke down. tears seem like the easy way out. n it was. it worked.

time check: 8pm
the tears are still there. my eyes feel dry, and my heart empty. i cant explain it. i cant put words to it. i nv felt so completely wiped out. hollow. i cant find something to hold on to. something that's worthwhile. i hate myself for being so weak. for succumbing to myself. giving in to tears. but i juz cant seem to find any strength left. strength in prayer? in God? theres so much hurt tt i nv knew existed. and it all juz came pouring out today

christmas shoes

as i listen to the song 'christmas shoes', i rly started crying. it's such a sweet but sad song. the lyrics are so beautiful.

hmm second blog post within 4 hours. im blogging to keep my mind off stuff. like the lizard tt juz ran into my room n refuses to come out; like the immaturity of my sister who refuses to grow up.

sigh.

He's leaving. n i cant stop it. i know as i watch him walk away, that it'll be a long time before we'll bridge that emptiness that he sets between us when he leaves. and yet, i know i can do something about it. i know i can stop this once and for all. it's just me. it's my call. the pressure's on. should i make a sacrifice? or should i do what i believe will make me happy? i seem to be always slapped with the tough decisions. it's always between heart and mind. the thing is, u can never satisfy both.

sigh.

the damn lizard decided to marathon around my room. when the door's right there. it's amazing how it managed to climb 8 storys up to my room. lizards seem to find me wherever i go. just the other day, one popped in frm the NL window onto raj n started running around the classroom. i hate lizards.

angel eyes

daffy day today was. sch was till 11am due to ACS founder's day @ the indoor stadium. blingbling. BUT, it was totally boring. seriously. the entire stadium was packed wit guys frm AC primary to AC college. plus ACS international. as it would go without saying, it was -OMG-

the AC primary & junior boys were adorable. seriously. totally cr8zy, but cute nonetheless. they looked like massive numbers of squashable white&blue cockroaches when they were running down frm their seats to the center to volunteer to play dead. their inability to comprehend the word "play dead" was certainly amusing as they totally ignored the pastor's commands to lie on the floor n remain silent. rather, they had fun beating each other up, piggy-back-ing each other, and waving to the cameras in center stage. total crack up.

the event graced the presence of tharman the minister & robert solomon the bishop. zZz. my trip to dreamland says it all. so there was the official welcome of ACS international, and the 3 new houses in all the AC schools. n cheesy-to-sleep games tt were played after benediction.

well at least this is one founder's day tt doesnt require repeated chamber performance of pieces while pple wolf down reception food in front of us and feel sorry for us.