fortitudine vincimus

it means by endurance we conquer.

and we will (:

"if there ever comes a day
when we cant be together
keep me in your heart
i'll stay there forever" - Winnie the Pooh

what sweet words from the friendly neighborhood teddybear (:

thank you Daddy for a gd day today (: the sugar frm the countless milo drinks & lollipops kept me awake for the late night studying wit seok at the void deck. i survived. we survived (: with joseph naia's lit help and victor's hilarious quirks and dinner frm parents and the cooling night air. i left school rly tired, but smiling (:

"It is better to have loved and lost
than to never have loved at all" - Alfred Lord Tennyson

aight seeing eyelids. call of the comfy cozy bed (:

wake me up when nov ends

yet another trying day. waves that keep crashing, storms that keep coming. every time i pick myself up and hold myself together, another wave of problems come in and i fall apart. break, build, break, build. hopefully, this will be the last time i'm broken.

and i will be strong
even when it all goes wrong..

what happened to my lucky stars.. ): all placed back into the skies.

For when I am weak, then am I strong. – 2 Cor 12:10

thnx seok for being there for me when it became too much to take (: i felt alot better after.

and thnx josh for the folded paper pig haha. (: it made my day.


all hands on deck
my ship is sinking
dont let me go, dont let me drown..

counting the stars

i survived today! (: and arrived home safely in one piece without falling asleep on some random guy's shoulders again thnx to a phonecall haha. my primary agenda for today will be to sleep. (:

Please tell me your for real
Because I don't want to bleed no more

laughter is the best medicine (: and i had lotsa medicine today. sleep-deficient drowiness prolly made everything funnier hehe. and it also caused me to stumble on lots of words, phrases, numbers... and bags, legs, and pranks. OOPS. of course the rest of the time i was pretty much lost in a world of my own, dreaming about my comfy bed at home. s.t.o.n.e.

we helped cherie with art after sch (: with our amateur hands we managed to cut glass, glue glass, break glass, and break more glass. but it was rly enjoyable hehe. 4 pair of hands are better than 1 anyways! laughed all our probs away, and juz worked on the task at hand! yay muggers (:

Another day goes by
will never know just wonder why

my attempt at "beefing up" my lit essays didnt exactly work for today's timed writing ex. how on earth our senior class came out with 6 pages in 1 hour.. remains a mystery! hmph. one day i shall do that.

Always have to move on,
To leave it all behind
Go along with time

sleepy!

coincidentally, a lotta pple were tossing and turning in bed till late ytd night. sleeplessness strikes back! and unfortunately i was one of them ):

mac and i took turns sleeping during math tuition lol. so the overall class wasnt disrupted haha. but this is so not gd. nopenopenope.

day 1 of self-groundedness with sleep-inducing atmo notes as companions. rly boring. i dont feel a sense of urgency now tho i kno i shld. o well in due time.

f I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you.

random thots..

"I can do all through Christ who strengthens me" - Phil 4:13

jasper's memorial service today. rly moving, for God spoke to us through the songs we sang; rly meaningful, for his parents and friends attended the service even tho some of them were buddhists. indeed, we can find reason to give thanks for in every situation and circumstance. because God is good. truly, with Christ in the vessel we can smile at a storm (:

when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the floods
I will be still
and know You are God

only He can heal the broken hearts and broken lives. as i looked back today i saw one set of footprints. and then i know that He has been carrying me through all this while. (:

You are my strength when i am weak
You are the treasure that i seek
You are my all in all

and i say, amen.

songbird

i love scents (: lovelovelove. in the bus today i caught a whiff of a rly nice scent which i liked on a guy seated next to me. it was a rly familiar scent, but i juz cldnt place it. grr. im gonna buy my future husband lots and lots of scents so that he can wear a different one everyday! haha (:

to end off a pretty morbid week, was jasper's burial. the sendoff. it was pretty much an eyeopener, for i was very much out-of-touch with buddhist rituals and chinese funeral customs, so it was all new to me. we threw in little folded straw hearts before they completed the burial, and i thot that was rly meaningful. to show our love for our dear brother will never die (: rest well brother.

before that we stopped by holland v for subway and a quick visit to the petshop. there're new puppies in it!! and they're frickin adorable. i swore i wld have done anything to cuddle them. haha im gonna make my future husband buy lots and lots of puppies for me. and im gonna love em all! hehe (:

feeling cheerier and more lighthearted today. thank you god for letting me know that im not alone in this. thank you god for the friends and family who rly care (:

now. im gonna start grounding myself. yet another day with zero work done. wait, make that a week. gotta start working. workworkwork. im gonna have no life frm now on. haha. another 9 more weeks till its all over! (:

i will run to You

Jesus shall take the highest honor
Jesus shall take the highest praise
Let all earth join heaven in exalting
The name which is above all other names
Let's bow the knee in humble adoration
For at His Name every knee shall bow
Let every tongue confess He is Christ God's only Son
Sovereign Lord we give You glory now

For all honor and blessing and power
Belongs to You, belongs to You
For all honor and blessing and power
Belongs to You, belongs to You
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God

God is truly amazing. "In my distress, I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God. He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him even to His ears".

i wish you were here with me
to hold me, to comfort me
when the tears rolled down my cheeks..

"if we hold on together, our dreams will never die.."

God's love is abundant and sufficient. and we will pull through knowing that since He brought us to it, He'll bring us through it. (:

lets pat dry those tears, no more sniffles, mouth the words 'i will be strong'. theres always a bright side to things, always something to give thanks for, always something else to hold on to.

my heart-pillow's soon becoming my best buddy at home. always there ready to give me a BIG HUG, and always there to absorb my tears haha. alrite no more tears. joy will be strong. and cheered. and happy.

soon enough.

think of me

Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while
please promise me you'll try

easy how songs stick to my head and wont go away. easy how they conjur memories so vivid it feels like im flipping through a slideshow of thoughts. and funny how the song got stuck in my head in the first place. when joshua started whistling it and i was thinking of that exact song and we both exclaimed "oh no!" considering the title of the song haha. powers of music telepathy.

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen
don't think about the things
which might have been

a beautiful song about thinking, missing, and feeling. yet, exactly the thing which im trying not to partake in right now. for im lost in a myriad of confused thoughts. seeking answers that i have yet to find. still wish i cld talk to somebody about it. someone who wld understand exactly how it feels, someone who wld help me search for answers. wonders of the not-so-beautiful mind.

Daddy, please save me. im drowning fast : (

maybe im pmsing. i wish that that were it. i was doodling mindlessly as i always do in classes, when i realized i was scribbling "joy is sad" on the LT and NL tables. how ironic. sigh.

Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned

the morning migraine forced me to go to school late today. again. and on my way to sch i saw a charles look-alike who bore such striking resemblances he was fit to be his clone. except he was a punk version, donning black leather jacket, boots and standing next to a rly cool bike. F-U-N-K-Y! read somewhere last time that there was a duplicate of every person somewhere in this earth. haha i wanna find MY clone!

ah. thank God its friday. looking forward to a day of r&r wit the 87'ers tmr : ) i rly need this.




Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind...

tears and rain

yes, i am the ostrich. so many times i have dug a hole, and buried my head into the ground. place myself far far away frm fear, by pretending it does not exist. the fear of getting hurt, the fear of knowing, the fear of simply, the truth. i squeeze my eyes shut, holding on to hope that things will change, times will pass, hurt will diminish. but sometimes, it just doesnt work that way.

because it cant.

If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday

again and again, reality presents itself at my doorstep, screaming at me to face it, fight it out man-to-man, woman-to-woman. i can run, but i cant hide forever.

so sudden. so unexpected. now you see, now you dont. everything in His time. we all prayed so hard. but once He's made up His mind, nothing's gonna change it.

we'll all remember you Jasper. thank you for being a blessing in our lives.

strength to carry on

hello stranger...
i cup my head in my hands, eyes closed. my favorite position these days. how nice to shut out the world. just for a minute. get away from the noise, the crowd, the stress, and the countless worries. how i wish..

feeling rather down today. so much to do, so little time. inevitably, i start to doubt my capabilities. i feel so drained, and this is merely the tip of the iceburg. theres a mixture of emotions felt, all whirled up inside me. i know its because of the physical fatigue and mental exhaustion that these things bother me, but it seems just a little harder today to grip onto the positive and hold on for dear life. the cramps that acted up mischeviously throughout the day did not help at all either.

keep smiling, keep shining
knowing you can always count on me
for sure

the temptation of becoming a 3-subber turns into a highly alluring prospect as the As draw nearer. maybe then i'll get a taste of how it feels like to be swimming comfortably hanging onto a raft. instead of dangerously drowning. so tempting. seems like eons ago when i was managing 9 subs including music. how i did it then, it still puzzles me.

sigh. 9 more weeks to 'hang in there'. thnx for making me smile and trying your best to help : ) i rly needed the encouragement.

From the depths of my heart to the heaven above
There I feel Your embrace and the warmth of Your love
I'm not afraid 'cause Jesus I know You are here



gdbye stranger..

epitaph from a child

Here, freed from pain, secure from misery, lies
A child, the darling of his parents' eyes:
A gentler Lamb ne'er sported on the plain,
A fairer flower will never bloom again:
Few were the days allotted to his breath;
Now let him sleep in peace his night of death.


i know he's in a better place now. without pain, without suffering.

death puts life back into perspective. it truly does.

walk away

it's alright, dear child, to cry, to weep, to pour your heart out. i'll be here by your side. to listen to you, support you, to hug you. tis inevitable the crisis of rapidly diminishing time, to cause such hurt, wounds, and tears.

let it go, let it be
dont waste all your emotions
on this tit-for-tat machine

time heals all wounds. trust me : )

"it is Fate that determines who comes into our lives, but the heart that determines who stays... "

a broken heart. broken spirit. let the healer in Heaven fill us with love, that we may learn to forgive and forget.


I feel the distance standing here next to you..

clinging on tight

cause maybe there's another plan
one i still cant see
a little surprise, like your love in my life
funny how time changes how we see

back from the downs : ) whats done is done. i cant change anything, and God granted me the gift of acceptance. so this ball's bouncing back again : )

well, i guess i vaguely kissed my overseas education gdbye. maybe that's God's answer for me. maybe it's all part of His plan. o well. juz gonna leave it all to Him. what things are meant to be, will be. He makes all things beautiful in His time : )

went for another round of grocery shopping wit my mom as part of our 'domestication training' and in prep for the potluck mooncake party. we ended up fishing for live prawns hehehe. which was a whole lot of fun. after we brought em home, we realized that the live prawns and crabs sparked more than just OUR interest. when my two furry babies came racing towards us when we brought the soon-to-be seafood home, we decided to see just how they wld react to them.


bubble and the singled-out crab..


ginger and the many live prawns..

needless to say, we all collapsed in bouts of laughter. haha. the great extent of their curiosity combined with just enough fear resulted in rather interesting behavior lol.

the party was alright. but i had a creeping migraine that left me collapsed in a chair trying to shut out the dizziness. it was a rather formidable feeling that i still cant explain. i felt almost a sort of yearning while i had the migraine. like a kid yearning for his mom when hes sick. just tt it was different considering my age. but nonetheless it made me feel like crying. it was juz so weird. a feeling of utmost vulnerability and dependability that i havent felt in ages.

garhh.. maybe i just need more sleep. and less thinking.

untitled

i love you too much to make you stay..

sappy love songs do much to a sad heart and forlorn spirit. a full day has whizzed past, and joy has succeeded in accomplising... nothing. cuz she had a bad day, and she's taking one down. haha. juz ONE. :)

bbmak. revisit to the sappiest of the sappiest. but oh so sweet.
so here i am all by myself
thinking of you nobody else
theres a feeling inside
and as hard as i try
it just wont go away

AND..., runners up goes to.. savage garden!
i knew i loved you
before i met you
i think i dreamed you into life

certainly beats the angst and wrath of eamon..
-beep- what I did
Was you're fault some how
-beep- the Presants
I threw all that shit out
-beep- all the crying
It didn't mean jack

and im just about out of my mind, soul, and spirit. maybe its time for bed.

save me

throbbing headache. poofy eyes.

blah.

idk wat to think. for the first time in a long long while, i took an afternoon nap : ) ive nv appreciated the state of unconsciousness more.

heck, i wish i cld juz sleep forever.

sweet, sweet bliss.

juz when i was starting to enjoy school.

dang.

so much for value-added. =p

and the damn swings HAD to be taken up tonight. when the full moon was so beautiful, and the heart so sad.

you gave me golden wings,
but i stil couldnt fly..

haha im starting to like mark's advice alot. 4 words. just f*ck it. dota.

i fall down on my knees,
i was blind but now i see..

rain, rain, go away..

i was at my condo's gym today. and i stood watching this young little boy perform primary 3 science experiments on the treadmill that has heart-rate-detector handbars. needless to say, i was amused : ) as per required in the "experiment" he was to perform, he took his pulse first, then started jumping up and down while on the treadmill to speed up his heartbeat. following that he tiptoed to place his hands on the handbars again to check his heart rate, but he wasnt even tall enough to reach em! haha AWWW. -so cute!!- so i decided to give him a hand. two hands actually. i lifted him to the level of the handbars. AWWW. but he was one heavy kid for his small size. i ended up speeding up MY heartbeat in all that weight lifting. haha o well but for a gd cause! : )

I laugh, i dream, i cry
when you take me on a rollercoaster ride

ok. reality check. 4th day since the start of school. flood of bad results to be released through the gates of hell tmr. in the anticipation of impending doom, i eat chocolates. haha. how better to deal with blues than to get fat. lol ok actually contrary to that, im surprisingly nonchalent bout the results. no pt worrying bout stuff that we cant change. i'll prolly worry bout it AFTER i get my results.

took some time off the library studying time to sit by the bleachers by myself. -woo.. zen- haha. but seriously, the sky is an awesome relaxant. i cld sit there forever, with drink in hand, chocolates in the other, and thoughts in the sky. haha. if only we had the time to do it more often.. we'll all be happier shinier perkier people. hehe.

10 more weeks to after As.. its short enough to count wit my fingers! yayy! we've finally graduated from the nitty-bitties of the average JC life, frm worrying bout how to skip swim pe, to escaping the penalties for eating in class, to devising ways to get past the security guard, all the way to fighting the last and final battle. as hard as its gonna be, im gonna try to enjoy the last 10 weeks of school and exams, of course, definitely with much help frm God's abundant grace : )

if at first you dont succeed, try, try again. ok im gonna TRY to study now =p
Heaven knows, i've been waiting for you..

where is my "a"?

lol a rly funny spoof i got frm lide's blog. no harm having some fun in the mugging. haha : )

what's wrong with the school mama?
people mugging like aint got no mamas
i think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
only attracted to exams that bring you trauma
overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
but we still got terrorists here livin
in the HCI, the Chem Department, the Maths and Physics and the KKKeynes
but if you only have love for your DOTA
then you only leave blanks throughout your paper
and to leave blanks doesn't generate grades
and if you failing you're bound to get an ASS WHOOPING FRM UR MUM
yeah mugging is what you demonstrate
and that's exactly how studying works and operates
you gotta have *A* just to set it straight
take control of your mind and meditate
let your grades gravitate to the *A* y'all

students mugging
students dying
i am hurtin
can you hear me crying?
can you practice what you preach
would you mark more leniently?
teacher teacher teacher help us
send some sympathy from above
cause people got me got me questioning
where is my *A*?
where is my *A*?
my *A*?
my *A*?

stay on the road to your heart

With Christ in the vessel,
we can smile at a storm! : )

i didnt hear anything during devotion today, except that. such a cute song that brightened up my day : ) haha. and of course the ice-cream man song. do you know the ice-cream man, the ice-cream man, the ice-cream man... hehe it was only in dbl math tut then i realized it was actually the muffin man song. yep thats wad i learnt in today's math tutorial. =p

hmm. im beginning to get back into the groove of sch. haha. took a lil time lag there, but the countless lit lectures peppered with the 'if-you-dont-start-now-you're-dead' speeches got my heart pumping a lil faster. and so i did. i read the most ALIEN set of geog notes ever. which were tested in the prelims. hmm. pleistocene ice age, holocene epoch and what-have-you, PLUS.. oxygen isotopes O18 and O16. (-_^) it took me a min to figure out what isotopes were. maybe this isnt gonna b as easy as i thot

and. i did the smartest thing today. in my panic to find an othello text, which started 3 periods before the lit lecture when someone went "sh*t! today's the othello lecture!", my hunt for innocent J1 lit students to borrow the text frm concluded with 4 juniors, one of them being johnathan. smses were sent out, calls were made.. and finally when a book was found, johnathan replied me. "gdday babe this is johnathan frm perth speaking. you've got the wrong guy! -grin-". of all wrong smses that i've sent in this life.. i HAD to send one to australia. O.M.G. wonder how much that'll cost me.

another load of crap unloaded. phew. haha. shld prolly get down to some studying. gd luck to the pple taking prelims now!! : ) and if you're reading this, get back to studying!!

everything in its time

wish i cld fly away. leave all these behind. fast forward the time till graduation. have the last fun. and then leave. leave whatever memories, thoughts, people, everything, behind. start afresh someplace new, with a clean slate, and build a brand new life.

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way

yet, that'll prolly remain a faraway dream. for now.

funny how so many of my seniors start asking me bout my future plans now. when im most unsure of it myself. yet, i find myself telling them that i'll be going to a local college.

sigh. how i wish we were back in those times. when "all that mattered was who got the good swing first". the hakuna-matata days. speaking of which, there're new swings at my condo : ) that are slightly more elevated than the previous ones. theyve prolly taken note of how big kids tend to play at the swings nowadays hehe. but its so much more comfy riding on the swings now without having to curl up my legs as much as before : )

think positive. think positive. think positive.

grr my rejection-of-food-syndrome has returned. or rather, rejection of school food. thought it was the ice-cream man outside the sch who was the culprit for the throwing up and diarrhea (spelling?) but then it happened today as well. wads wrong wit sch food?? ahh well 4 more weeks of sch food only anyways yippee : )

yet another out-of-point entry after an out-of-point lit writing test this afternoon. im such an out-of-point person.

bollocks!

pretty picture collage! : ) its really fun creating it. and chatting to sarah on hello, and playing with all those emoticons which fall frm the top of the screen. hehehe.



my pastor gave me a ride all the way to sarah's ytd after worship prac! wee. had quite a gd talk with him on the way there. hmm : )



at sarah's we watched bend it like beckham!! great show, with hottie johnathan meyers. we realized the significance of dressing in the show, with him appearing like a druggie while clad in loose track suits, and a total hottie in white shirts!! ahhh *drools* haha it was a gd show tho. better than kung fu hustle hehe.




haha the whacky scenes frm church. celine and i wore the same shirt frm topshop today! black is back : )



a few shots frm labrador park. we went there after church today it was so fun i totally exhausted myself there. being in the park gave me so much energy, that was a gd break frm the lethargy that i had been feeling the past few days. got to kno quite a few more people there thru the games and all. it was FUN FUN FUN : ) i caught so many laughing fits while i was there haha. i thank God for such an amazing end to the hols!



there was a mini celebration for all the september babies too by my mom's cell grp. and my mom's a september babe! three cheers. haha. so there were free tasty mango cake alongside all the other gd food.. yummy.



my mom and i with the nice scenary at our backs. gosh our hair were so messed up because of the wind and the games n activities. but i rly like the scenary so who cares.

school's starting tmr. UGH. like double UGH. which will mark the start of any studying to be done. an awesome two weeks of holiday.. now it's time to settle down and get into the serious mode. craapp. im so NOT looking forward to it. difficult to find any motivation at all when we kno that the next two months're gonna b mainly hitting the books. -bang- ah well at least i've got my friends to go thru it with me : )

ahh pictures paint a thousand words. so with so many pictures.. there're prolly more than a thousand words said. so i shall end here. out. : )

everything to me

Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling

choices. decisions. many of which cannot be decided even with the genius help of a deciding dice. because there just doesnt seem to be simple yes or no answers to these unanswered questions. decisions about life, about the next steps to take; the directions to head towards. sure you could do a cost-benefit analysis with it. weigh the pros and cons. but there are no right answers; no model answer scheme to refer to and correct yourself; no erasing what you've chosen and re-doing it all again.

ive always thought i knew exactly what i wanted. ive always wanted to be a doctor, and ive always wanted to study in the US. of course, the doctor part of it was pretty shattered when i was rejected for a full bio course in high school. i convinced myself to turn against doctors lol to get over the disappointment then. but when it comes to fulfilling my second dream, i hesitate, with trepidation. ive dreamed of being outward bound all this time, and now i wonder if that's what i really want. if that's what God really wants for me.

maybe im just scared. scared of stepping out of this cozy community; my safety catch that i know i can fall back on anytime. suddenly, there seems to be so many things holding me back frm pursuing an overseas education. i read about the goods, and hear about the bads, and then i see my internal contention. it's never easy, and i often admire those who know exactly what they want and go for it. unfortunately for me, i often second-guess my decisions, for the ultimate fear of regret. i often wonder, too, if my choices are pleasing to God's eyes. if im walking down the path that He has set me out to.

questions, doubts, and more dubiety. everybody goes thru em. i guess ive put mine away, and pretended they didnt exist haha. it prolly helps to have classmates who are pretty goal-oriented and focused. helps me to snap out of my laid-back, take-things-as-they-come self and start thinking about the near future.

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

it so happens that this song was playing as i was typing the post. everything in its time. perhaps its beautiful lyrics serve more than a singular purpose :p

class party was pretty fun : ) it doesnt hurt to have majority girls in the class hehe. as expected, we had another chick flick fest in hanyang's more than comfy tv room. all those tear-jerkers got my eyes rly poofy after that. beauty and the beast seem so much more romantic as i watch it now compared to when i watched it years ago, and funnier too, with ms yim's sing-a-long to its songs haha : ) love actually is just, the BEST romance movie ever. and mel baked her famous brownies woohoo saved me frm a trip to daily scoops cuz hers taste just as nice! yay : )

Baby, fly away...

just let it

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine

an email. just an email. i read and re-read it over and over again. god, i really do miss you. emotions that welled up.. i do everything in my capability to push it back down. back down in the deep end where it belongs.

All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade

= heck it. im sick of all these games =

haha im enduring the consequence of our badminton game ytd. ass-ache. ow. its almost as if i played the game with my butt. >.< makes it hard to walk normally sigh. but twas a gd workout. for me at least :p apparently wayne n edwin werent that tired.

we went to watch the longest yard after the game. at Empress. woo. that was a first. thankfully, i had no encounter whatsoever wit rats, cockroaches, or other creepy-crawlies that the theater is known for, despite edwin spilling some of his red bull on my leg. phew. they had a rather interesting ticketing system. or, the lack of. the movie passes didnt even contain the name of the movie we were watching! just three pieces of yellow paper wit.. just about nothing. haha no wonder the movie was only 6 bucks : )

Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

class party today!! :D as initiated by ms yim. *gasp* i think this is gonna b one interesting party WITH our form teacher : )

picture fun! : )

hmm. ive always wondered why im so indecisive and obliging. sometimes its juz hard for me to say no. it isnt because i cant think for myself. i kno what i want. so why cant i decide for myself what i should do? it took me half a day to decide whether to go to the beach today wit the arts pple, and 1 hour before the time we were sposed to meet, my mind was still riding on the pendulum swinging btwn yes and no. tis strange. my 'im-fine-with-everything' mentality has more often than not gotten in the way of my decision making. sometimes i wish that i have cherie's deciding dice of yes, no and maybe, which came to great use when our highly indecisive class couldnt decide on theme for prom. three throws of the dice settled that promptly haha. or sometimes i wish pple will juz make certain decisions for me. ended up asking people to choose btwn 1 and 2.

well since im here posting this.. tis apparent that the pendulum stopped at 'no'. a surprising number of people chose 2, which meant 'no' haha.



paul rudd. the 'o-so-cute' guy frm the movie clueless. one of our many chick flicks : ) seok and i were swooning over him when we watched it at the sleepover haha. since im onto my photo fest thing i decided there was no harm putting up a gorgeous photo of a cute guy =p

on the topic of our sleepover.. i realized i have a tendency to fall asleep halfway through a show, and then wake up promptly at its ending. like my dad. i did that for a few of the shows we watched. not that the shows are boring (chick flicks are NEVER boring lol), maybe juz an inherited tendency haha. no explanation to that tho. hmmm.

this hols has been pretty gd so far. gd in the fun sense, but not gd in the academic arena. i was pretty mortified to find out that the A level study has commenced for a few pple. ok, correction. quite a large number of pple. science students, at that. *gasp* and then mrs cref's warnings with multiple big words starts ringing in my head. maybe i shld start studying soon...

dang i feel like cycling. missed the thrill of going downslope at full speed ever since my mountain bike got given away. BOO ): all i need now is a new bike. haha sponsors are graciously welcome! : )

Take a look at the ordinary,
no need to look for paradise

sleepover : )

the one thing that i rly wanna do now is.. SLEEP.

but since im waiting for my hair to dry.. i might as well put the time to gd use and upload the pictures frm our sleepover.

thnx mel for organizing it : ) it was rly fun : )

so.. here are some random shots that are slightly less blurred :p


rits with a rly large plastic balloon


we took quite a lotta mirror-image shots haha


grp shot in bed!


another one..


yet another mirror shot!


cherie seok and i


iris and rita haha

we were totally the epitome of the couch potato generation, basing on the fact that our entire sleepover was almost confined to the tv/bedroom with chick flicks, and ordering in macdonald's breakfast cuz we were too lazy to walk =p other than a morning crazy game of volleyball, i think we did not step out of the room except for dinner.

ah heck that was what we all needed anyways : ) chick flick saturation. plus sincity which was juz.. sick.

webshots hold the rest of the pictures for the sleepover. feel free to click.

ok all that took less than 15 minutes. n my hair aint dry yet. but im gonna sleep anyways. out.

temporality

ive a new-found hero. SAM!! : ) im so so proud of you sam!! i should have saved the conversation we had. i almost couldnt believe me eyes haha. your future girlfriend's gonna be SO lucky! : )

haha seriously.. im beyond impressed.

ahh that was ytd night. kenneth got me inspired to read entries frm my previous blog as well, and hence i added a link to my ex-blog lol. so many changes, in mindset, in lifestyle, in friends, in perceptions.. all within two years. and also, we saw how God blessed us abundantly, and how everything turned out just the way it would in God's plan.

In His time, he makes all things beautiful...

i laid all my burdens unto God this morning, in a blessed time of meditation and contemplation. still, there were some questions unanswered, some doubts kept in the back of my mind. i keep running away frm it. i dont wanna deal wit it, and activities keep my distracted frm thinking bout it. maybe ultimately.. the prob lies with me, myself and i. and one day i just gotta deal wit it. when ive gathered the strength, and mustered the courage. one day.

sleepover at mel's today : ) hope it'll b fun.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life" - Prov 13:12

the hardest trick is making them stay

after watching 'must love dogs'.. i predicted a rather "maudlin" post. lol. but im gonna refrain frm that. it was an awesome chick flick. about love (duh) that was rly touching and inspiring : ) ohoh we got a free giant poster that came wit the tickets. and it looks gd in my room so i decided to take a pic of it : ) right next to my curtains yayy. haha see the orange octopus on my hi-fi? that's a cute massager that has vibrating tentacles. not rly effective, but it looks cute! : )



so i was uploading pictures frm my cam, and a few of the pictures made me smile : )


photos of my beloved friends :)


the cute tiara!! and a fun holiday :)


the girls at kronos!!! : ) i miss kronos..


and another photo of my dog posing with my sister's toys


yet another stupid shot of dog, courtesy of my sister's fantastic ear-making skills..

= but they make me smile haha =

wee played pool with celine lide n regina after church n lunch today. american pool's was surprisingly.. empty. haha nice. but the balls were SO frigging light it was hard anticipating the direction they were headed cuz it was so different frm playing elsewhere. ahh well. who cares. some girly fun : )

i wanna watch perfect catch!! : ) : ) anybody second that? : ) : )

haha some rly cute pick up lines..
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
awww...

Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
haha this is juz cute..

Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of
vitamin me.
lol sweet..

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together
AWWWWW!!!

haha mike stop sending me random pick up lines u STILL have to pay me that 15 bucks =p

if you leave me now

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please dont go

that songs been stuck in my head ever since "a lot like love", and was juz imprinted firmly after kopi-susu did a beautiful acapella wit it : ) i absolutely adore albert's voice & andrew's charisma. i'll totally get their album if they were ever to cut one =p

If you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me
No baby please don't go

man.. i wish one day a guy wld sing to me like that haha. *melts*

i was going thru my old photos today, and a picture fell out of my unconsolidated pile. it was a picture of me and my middle school sweetheart back in the states. charles jacob kellar (if i didnt rmb wrongly). it was taken in the school playground during winter by a fellow classmate. how cute haha. looking at it now, i realize we looked rly odd together. one white, one asian. but that was 4th grade so who was to tell? lol..

while i was in town today i saw an old man of 70 odd yrs donning prada shades and bell bottoms. i was like whoa. then, his phone rings, and i watched him whip out a motorala razr, flip it open, and mumble "sup y'all". thats when my eyes turned rly wide, and i felt my jaw drop a little. this beats the convertible-gunning music-blasting elderly couple any time. man. old folks these days..

"only in the mysterious equations of love can any logic be found"
i watched "a beautiful mind" today wit my mom and sister. its such an awesome show about the prevailing strength of love that enables such magnitudes of sacrifice. i wonder if i'll be able to do that if i were in the character's position. to believe in love so deep to be able to put down oneself for the other. but the show was rly inspiring and touching.. makes me believe in love again : )

worship prac today too was thought-provoking, and instigated a soul-searching session. we prayed for issues, problems, committing our lives unto God. and then God reminded us of the fragility of life. how He who gave life to us, can take life away just as easy, so that we may be with Him in heaven. life on earth is so short, so unexpected, that each day, each second is so precious. and yet sometimes i find myself so enveloped in my problems and worries, that i let my life slip through my fingers. there was remourse, regret, and then there was enlightenment, and release. i knew that i shld stop wallowing in the pits of problems that were so trivial and unimportant, as compared to our Father's love for us. God's presence in my life superceded anything, anytime.

prayers go out to jasper.. fighting his battle against cancer and yet standing strong in faith, holding on. i kno i cant ever understand how he feels at this point of time, but i do kno that in God all things are possible, n i do believe in the power of prayer and supplication. "Be careful for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God". lets all continue to pray for jasper's recovery : )

my chemical romance

Underneath the starlight,
There's a magical feeling so right

ive got a brand new blog skin : ) thnx gab for helping this html illiterate change it. ive been wanting a new outfit for my blog for sometime lol. dang i juz realized the color combination isnt exactly conducive for fighting myopia. oops. how do you change the font color anyways?

teacher's day celebrations today brought back some memories in high sch, where a bunch of us music students got a band together, and wrote a song dedicated to teachers. : ) those were the gd times. it was so rewarding seeing the expressions on the teachers' faces. it made every single second worth the effort.

our ogl item today was.. i guess slightly pale in comparison. due to lack of time and practice, and the band's lil glitches here and there. but i guess its the thot that counts : ) haha. subway & pool wit shai and seok after that was REALLY fun. wee~ im lovin' it!

odear. i think im turning into a guy. what wit the influences of the pple around me. oh no. better dig up my polly pocket soon. =(

ahh whatever. happy teacher's day to all teachers & wannabes : ) but hopefully no teachers read this..


somehow.. things never turn out the way they were sposed to. a happy bubble that was burst, and never reformed. i know sorry aint gonna cut it for the pain thats been caused. i nv meant for things to turn out this way. deep down inside, i rly miss you.. no pt wishing time will rewind itself. but i'll try. i promise. i'll try my best.

believe

"Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love even though they've been hurt before."

an amazing quote that i came across while enjoying the luxury of reading in bed. how true, in more ways than one. albeit a quote said in a non-christian context, i believe there are parallels drawn to what Jesus did, and of God's unconditional love. well, afterall, love makes the world go round : )

recently, i feel myself being more enveloped in a state of solitude, taking the role of an observer rather than a participant. i cant explain it. might b a phase.. phase of anti-socialism? idk. and then again, i enjoy being with people. ive had a great week of fun, companionship, and loads of laughter, thanks to the wonderful people around me : ) hoping i'll snap out of this dazed mode soon, and re-emerge into reality again. haha.

kenneth wayne and edwin came over for badminton in the morning : ) i think they cld all tell tt i wasnt very much a morning person. and also a very rusty player at that :p but it was rly fun. got a lil scare when i almost blacked out and keeled over at one pt. maybe due to weary and the flu. now i understand how the phrase "and suddenly everything turned black" came about. lol.

funny how i collapsed onto my bed after my shower and fell straight into dreamland. haha. missed lunch, and was too lazy to join the guys at rocky's pizza after. haha. i was SO tired sorry.

my parents are safely back frm jakarta : ) thank God for a safe journey. the same day my parents got back, my dad left for prolly another month stay at china. -.- holding eager anticipation of his return soon! : )

it can happen to anyone of us

Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love

today, we discovered the romantic potential of parks at night. it was beautiful. ive nv rly liked nature parks because of its humidity which i have had no tolerance for, but that totally changed tonight. we were instantly engulfed in peace and the tranquil of the picturesque night scenery the moment we stepped into the park. in joshua's words which aptly summed up the entire place - 'how romantic'. : )

and it wasnt just beautiful for its romantic element. they had a totally awesome playground : )complete wit cool swings, a peddle merry-go-round, and the-thing-which-you-sit-on-frm-one-end-to-the-other. hence, tiongbahru park saw 4 guys and 1 girl attempting to make the most fun out of these caricatures of childhood life tonight, and gleefully succeeding. together wit the saturation of sick dirrty jokes.(why are guys so dirty-minded?!!) how 'romantic'. haha ok but it was rly rly fun. too bad i was still clad in school skirt. we shld go there again some day!! : )

ohohoh i watched red eye today finally : ) yayay. gd show. that included a gd scare (like BOO!!) towards the ending. wayne, who was sandwiched btwn edwin and i, jumped because edwin n i both screamed at the same time and grabbed wayne at that scary part. so much for surround sound. and hence the audience heard wayne's hearty laughter at the hold-your-breath climax of the show. lol. i imagine they prolly werent too pleased bout that.

lunch concluded my 4th lamb burger too : ) and also a rly out-of-point jack, which started out when kenneth asked me to pass my half-eaten lamb burger plus ONE fry to paul lock on his account upon my return to sch for teachers day rehearsal. somehow zhic ended up eating the burger. oops. well at least the food wasnt wasted in the end. hehe.

The mist is lifting slowly
I can see the way ahead
And I've left behind the empty streets
That once inspired my life

thanks guys for an awesome day! rly appreciate the compromises made : )